So for the past few years I've been getting nothing but shit from people about my sexuality and even some family relatives. It's gotten worse and worse and I've been questioning what I should do for myself, sadly the only option I have to escape from this is to simply try and convert myself. I'm becoming more and more tempted into trying out gay conversion therapy but at the same time I'm scared of what will happen if I stay gay. I'm a sophomore in high school and have been out since the 7th grade and I've lost many friends because of this. I'm running out of time and need help. I've been losing sleep, cutting contact with the last bit of friends I have and whats worse is I can't even go to my family for help because about 99% of my family/relatives consist of straight people who've never been involved in any kind of homosexual experience nor are they even that knowledgeable on what to do in a situation like this. I can't ask friends IRL either because most of them are so stuck up and take everything I say as a joke. I'm getting to the point where gay conversion therapy is the only way out. If this gets any worse I don't know what I'll do. :bang:
Whoa now hold on. Is there any support group at school? An LGBT group? There is no one out there besides you? You are out, but no one has approached you? I hate saying this like its a bad thing, but you are very brave, something most people wouldn't do you did in 7th grade. I don't know about conversion therapy but my 2nd hand knowledge sounds like it would make you worse off, seeing as it makes being gay seem like a perversion and immoral, and usually it's from a religious standpoint that guilt trips people for no good reason. I would not recommend doing that... To anyone.
There are no support groups at the school I go to. I sorta keep to myself as it is. There is only one person at my school who is out to everyone but he is sorta stuck up. It might have been brave to come out in the 7th grade to everyone but sadly it have not brought anything good to me at all. In fact my fathers consistently reminds me that it's my fault that I get messed with and put down because I told everyone.
If there's anything I can suggest, it's that you do NOT try conversion therapy. Not only does it make homosexuality look like a mental disorder, but conversion therapy is dangerous to one's health and well-being and has been proven to be ineffective. Most of the time, it has no effect on one's sexuality, while other times, it only gives a person heterosexual feelings for a short while before they revert back to homosexuality. I'm sorry to hear about this. But there are many others who are in the same situation as you. Your friends who "take everything you say as a joke" and who have left you, they don't sound like very good friends to have. A true friend would be far more compassionate. I also believe it's important that your family become more knowledgeable about homosexuality, as this could allow them to understand your problem easier.
JacobASilva welcome to EC! (*hug*) As others have said, conversion therapy is a bad idea. First of all, it doesn't work. Second, it's actually harmful and it will leave you in a worse situation than before you started. However, some therapy WOULD be good for you. Have you considered speaking to a pro-LGBT therapist? They can help you actually get on the right path to solving some of your problems, and they can help you do it without causing you psychological harm. Go to this website, and then look for therapists near you. On the left hand side under sexuality, you can select "gay issues". That will help you find a therapist who specializes in LGBT issues. From there, you're going to want to see if you can get in contact with them, and find out what type of experience they have in working with gay teens. You're looking for someone who is affirming of your sexuality, and someone who is LGBT themselves is even more ideal. They can speak to you from personal experience, and having someone who can empathize is super helpful when it comes to therapy.
I beg you not to go to conversion therapy. I've been through that and it WILL NOT HELP. I was told that if I went to conversion therapy things would get better but instead it ended up damaging me in a really profound way. I've been out of conversion therapy for around 5 or 6 years and I'm just starting to recover. I know that things are painful right now but I just don't want you to make a mistake that will haunt you like I did. There are other ways to manage this and I think the fact that you're here is a really good sign. There is support out there and there is hope. Please post on my wall if you're considering doing something like conversion therapy. I'd be happy to talk with you about what those sorts of things lead to a few years down the road and we can discuss other alternatives.
4 people said not to. Varying levels of experience but recognize the wisdom of the words if many people say it.
Conversion therapy isn't going to change the fact that your friends are oblivious. Hell let's say those friends that did leave you come back now that you're "straight", do you really want to be hanging around people who wouldn't accept you until you fit their standards? I say go with Aldrick and IssI's advice.
I went to one session of conversion "therapy". All it does is try to push you deeper into the closet. It's not in any way good for your mental health, and chances are that it will further damage your mental health. I went to one session, and it messed me up for a long time. Please, go to a therapist that knows about LGBT issues.
If you're in the US, try reaching out to a PFLAG group. Stick to your guns here. Conversion therapy will make things worse. Hugs for you if you want them.
Great advice so far. One tidbit I'll add that might be useful: It's very telling that the founder of Exodus, the oldest and largest of the "conversion" or "reparative" therapy organizations recently made a public statement to the effect that conversion therapy doesn't work, and there's no way to change one's sexual orientation. He left the organization as a result, and numerous others also left. The organization basically shut itself down. When you add on top of that the fact that a comprehensive meta-review of every major study done in the past 50 years looking at attempts at changing sexual orientation showed that, among the credible studies, there was virtually no success whatsoever, and the few "successes" often reverted back to homosexual orientation within a year or two. Conversion therapy can, however, have really, really negative downsides. It is inherently shaming, not at all affirming to who you are, and depending on the approach, can be severely physically and psychologically damaging. That's why it's now been banned for people under 18 in several states. As hard as it seems right now to be able to accept and love yourself, remember that high school is only another couple of years, and it's pretty inherent in high school for kids to find reasons to single out other kids. (I could go into a long psychological explanation of why, but it doesn't really matter... it happens, and it isn't limited just to people who are gay. ) Once you are out of high school, things change. You'll be able to find people that accept and love you for who you are, and you'll find yourself a lot more comfortable and happy. In the meantime, it can be hard to cultivate quality friends, but I assure you that if you look around, you can find them. And, of course, the EC community is here to help and support you as well. Feel free to continue sharing your feelings, because getting them out is a big part of helping yourself feel better.
