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Want to be who I am.

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Bosho, Jan 12, 2014.

  1. Bosho

    Regular Member

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    I posted on here before about me falling for another guy even though I always thought I was straight. I am beginning to accept the fact that I am Bisexual and I would like to begin the likely very hard process of coming out. Even if nothing comes out of the current friends with benefits relationship, I still think I should come out. Any advice would be beyond appreciated. Who should I tell first? Should I keep it to myself longer?
     
  2. BookDragon

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    Tell whoever feels right, whenever it feels right to do it. That may feel like a really lazy answer to give, but I assure you it's the best one. Coming out initially doesn't HAVE to be as hard as we sometimes make it. It's so easy to worry about if you need to do it right away and whether you should have done it by now or if you need proof first. All these different things get into your head and tell you that no matter what it is you are planning to do you're doing it wrong!

    When you feel comfortable telling somebody, that's the time to think about it. When you find someone you feel comfortable telling, they are the person to tell.
     
  3. Bosho

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    Thank you. Part of me really wants to just say fuck it and just be who I am. However; the other hand, I really kind of hate myself for keeping this from the ones I am suppose to trust. Mind you, that isn't a very large group of people, but it still makes me feel bad that I keep something of this magnitude away from them. This has really been effecting my demeanor lately and it's really disrupting my sleep patterns. It has gotten to the point where it's literally all that I think about. All that keeps going through my head is "I hate myself" and "I'll never be happy". I know there is absolutely no shame in being who I am, I just don't know how others will react and how many people in my already small group of trustees will stop talking to me and distance themselves from me. I am just so afraid.
     
  4. Lexington

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    I usually tell people that the first and most important person to come out to is yourself. Because once you feel somewhat comfortable with it, you'll do a lot better with coming out to others.

    Who do you tell, and how? Generally, it's best to tell the people you think will be most supportive. Doesn't matter if that's a friend or family member or co-worker or whatever. Because once you start building a "stable" of supportive people, it's easier to tackle the others. How? Anyway you want. I suggest telling people one-on-one rather than telling a group, but if you think that'll work better, that's fine.

    Lex