I'm not sure if you guys do this, but I need some help . I recently came out to my family, and friends, and been dating a guy for a about 4 months. We've grown so close in these months and care a great deal about one another. He has come out and has been out since he was 10 to his family, and recently to his friends. He has shared recently with me, his conflict within himself to accept the fact that a relationship with a man isn't wrong. As much as I care for him, I am lost in this void of what to do. He loves me, he cares for me, he wants to be with me, but he consistently feels like being with me is wrong, I'm guessing his religion has a great deal to do with that, he has told me he wants to have assurance that what he's doing is right. I'm not sure how I can help him, I can't change what he believes, but I care soo much for him, and I wish I knew what to say to him to get him to understand that being who he is, is not wrong. He's a very analytical thinker, and when I do discuss this with him, he has an argument of what the scripture says vs what Some churches belive..I'm lost because, I have something special in my life, something I want to hold onto. I fear I'm losing it to something I can't fight, I'm not sure if anything can be done to help me, but I need this advice more then anything...what should I do? What should I say? To make him feel assured that we have a god that loves us and cares for us regardless of what we were born with....please if there's any advice any books, anything you can throw my way to help me, I would greatly appreciate it...I don't want to lose something so close to my heart, it tears me apart that he is even questioning himself, and thinks that being with a man is wrong, and that effects me if he decides he's gonna believe it's wrong, please if anyone out there can give me advice, on how to handle it or even how to talk with him....I hope someone can help.... god bless...
Scripture says lots of things, including advocating slavery and polygamy and killing people for eating certain foods or not covering their heads. Most of these things have been set aside as artifacts of the culture that was around when that passage was written. Why should the passages about homosexuality be any different? Also, if he's a Christian, then I've heard that the New Testament is the book he should be concerned with and Jesus doesn't talk about homosexuality at all. All that said, I'm anything but an expert on religion. I'd suggest taking him to speak to someone from a gay friendly denomination (the Episcopalians or Unitarians come to mind) who can talk scripture right back at him. If he's so sure his interpretation of scripture is correct then he shouldn't have anything to be afraid of in doing this, should he? My 2c worth, Todd
I realized that I have so many areas in my life that I should be reforming for the better, but loving someone else was not something that I should try to change.
There are so many resources for people in his situation, so do not despair! "For The Bible Tells Me So" is a great movie he can watch. The Gay Christian Network has tons of stuff, including a forum. A quick Google search of "gay Christian" will yield many results (of course not all gay friendly, but many are). Basically, he's far from alone. And yes, gay friendly churches do exist. However, no matter how friendly the Unitarian "Church" may be, please be aware that they are NOT a Christian church at all, and hold vastly different ideals than those of most Christians. Just wanted to throw that out there... I wish you and your boyfriend much love and strength to get through this together.
