1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Terrified to go to the LGBT center on campus, but don't know why

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Skov, Jan 14, 2014.

  1. Skov

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2013
    Messages:
    473
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minneapolis, MN
    The title pretty much says it all. At my school we have a place in our student union called the Queer Student Cultural Center where LGBT people can just kinda drop in and hang out or study (idk really know what it's like). They also have group meetings there at random times throughout the week for various groups as well. I'd really like to go there to meet some other LGBT people, but I'm terrified to go and I have no clue why. I'm out to everyone at school with 3 exceptions, and I know they would never find out (I honestly wouldn't even care even if they did because it's going to happen eventually). I just have no idea why I'm literally terrified to go. I guess it probably is the fear of the unknown.
     
  2. SemiCharmedLife

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2013
    Messages:
    3,062
    Likes Received:
    85
    Location:
    KY
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    I'm afraid too to go to mine, but for a different reason. I don't want to be "that creepy old grad student."
     
  3. sammy1

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jun 27, 2013
    Messages:
    426
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Canada :)
    I would b super nervous to go as well I think one reason would b that I would b a new member so I feel like all eyes would b on me at that moment I walk in the door and also I think walking in would b very overwhelming because in a way it's like coming out to all those people all at once without even saying anything if that makes sense?
     
  4. Just Jess

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,237
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Denver
    So once when I was going to school, I was kind of cutting through buildings, and moving through crowds, exact same reason. Our building was pretty flamboyant. Yes there were other things in the building, but I just assumed that people would assume.

    So that day, I was walking past another member from one of the team projects I was working on. My options were pause awkwardly, go somewhere else, or walk right past him and into the building.

    I did the third. After that day, I didn't have any anxiety about going into the building. I'm pretty sure he knew where I was going. I'm also quite sure that no one in my study group cared.

    I guess what I learned was that, when what you're afraid of actually happens, it's nowhere near as bad as it is in your head. That experience has, looking back, made so many other things about my transition so much easier to deal with.

    So I'm positive if you just get yourself to go a few times, you won't just have an easier time going into the building, you will have an easier time with being gay.
     
  5. Skov

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 27, 2013
    Messages:
    473
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Minneapolis, MN
    Thanks everyone. Like I know I wouldn't see anyone I know and that wouldn't bother me if I did, but I am just so nervous about not knowing what to expect. I think I might email the center and ask them what people normally do, etc. Any thoughts on things to ask?
     
  6. Juless

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 13, 2014
    Messages:
    20
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    I feel the exact same way. I'm petrified to go. Almost all of my friends know I'm gay, and I've no problem discussing it with them, but I don't have any gay friends. Going to the LGBT center petrifies me too, but in my case, it's because I look "straight" so I feel as though I won't belong at all and I will be heavily judged. In that regard, I wish I was more feminine looking.
     
  7. Just Jess

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2013
    Messages:
    1,237
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Denver
    I felt exactly the same way, made a thread here about it too. Like exactly the same, went in in normal guy clothes and everything.

    The advice I got is, "it's a support group!" . They're going to go out of their way to make everyone feel welcome and comfortable. Everyone is there for the same reasons 'yall are here.