Hi, I just wanted y'all to know that I'm sorry I've been less active on here lately and there's something I need to confess. As some of you may know, a while ago I mentioned that I may have depression. I've secretly been miserable for over two years but I just can't hold it in anymore. Now I know for sure I have depression. Every night I cry myself to sleep now, it used to only be every once in a while. I'm losing interest in every activity I used to love. I frequently insult myself in my mind and its a bad habit. I honestly hate myself. I used to have urges to cut, and I recently done it but then I switched to rubber band self harm and I'm now addicted to it. I feel that my future is hopeless. I frequently get suicidal thoughts. I'm a wreck. I'm a mistake. This world does not need me. I honestly wouldn't mind if I died. Every day I've been putting on a fake smile and only my two friends know about my depression. They really care for me and they're currently trying to help me, though I feel that I don't deserve help. I'm an idiot. I do want to confess why I'm so depressed but there's so many reasons and it's a long story and I don't want to talk about it. I just felt the need to talk about this. I'm sorry if this post bothers you
For starters, (*hug*) I know what you mean when you say you don't want to talk too much about why you're feeling this way. But I've found that whenever I'm feeling bad, whatever bad things I'm thinking get worse when I let them sit in my own head and get bigger and bigger. I'm glad you've been able to trust your friends enough to let out some of what you've been thinking, and I hope you can continue to build yourself a support system to get you through this. Your post doesn't bother me at all--in fact it's a good sign that you're able to talk things out. Hang in there bud, and I'll end my reply the same way I started it. (*hug*)
Bud, I know the feeling well. I know what that's like to have to put on a happy face and be nice to people every day while all hell's breaking loose on the inside. And after a while, you get good at it, and it's creepy how people are buying it. I know what that's like. You do deserve help, and it's out there. You just have to ask for it, and sometimes, that's the hard part. Tell your parents, a school counselor, someone. If you're feeling suicidal though, call 911, or you can call the suicide hotline. (1-800-273-8255) What I want you to do is go see the Trevor Project's website. (The Trevor Project) If you can't call, you can chat online with one of their counselors, or even text with one. Do it for yourself. Help is out there, and it works.
Okay, I'll consider trying the Trevor Project ---------- Post added 16th Jan 2014 at 07:31 PM ---------- But sometimes I feel that my depression won't go away no matter what though...but I'll consider getting help
I just want to say that you're not alone (*hug*) I've dealt with self harm and depression for a very long time. It's so awful to feel worthless, like you're not important and things would be easier if you were dead. I feel like that all the time. And sometimes, when we go through difficult things or people treat us badly, we feel like we must deserve it. Like there's something wrong with us. I just want to say that you do have a purpose. You are special and there is no one on this planet like you. People value diamonds, but there are thousands of diamonds and they all look alike. But no one is exactly like you. You can do anything you wish, and accomplish anything. Whatever you decide to do with your life will change the world, you will meet countless people who you will inspire and effect positively. But you can't do any of those things unless you stick around. I know it's really difficult, but try to hold on. And if you need someone to talk to, feel free to leave me a message
I just gotta say hang in there man. Trust me when I say I know it's rough and I know there will be times when you just want to say 'screw this' but it does get better.. You're not alone, especially on this website where people go through similar internal battles for various reasons. Like Gaytheist said, there are tons of resources out there for you to get ahold of, you just need to take a step forward and grab them. We're all here for you, it wouldn't be much of a support site if we weren't, right?
I know that it is very hard for you, and I completely understand. Your life is not worthless. Your life is worth everything.Please, get help. Talk to someone. There is help for you, and you are not alone. Know that. You have so much to give to the world. You have so much life to live. Do not give up. I know that is the easy thing to do, but keep going. You are worthy. Try looking in the mirror and saying that.
I've had and have similar issues. Please don't give into despair like I have, it only makes things worse. Think of things worth going on for, like your sister and anyone else you love. We're all here for you, let us know when you need anything.
