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I feel like a liar!!!! Advice?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Dre, Jan 17, 2014.

  1. Dre

    Dre
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    Hi guys, there's a lot going on, in terms of me actually fully coming out and dealing with all that. I'm taking the steps but it's just been more gradual than sudden, I just lost a parent not long ago and just don't want to hit my family with this news just yet. They probably don't expect it, hey I probably didn't expect it till a few years ago. I definitely went through a period of being attracted to girls but now it is solely guys and it's intense, so I'm def gay maybe with bi curious tendencies, who knows :slight_smile: My other problem is I feel I've so deeply entrenched myself within a straight " personality" - which I wish I didn't do. My worry is not that my friends won't accept me because they will, since I'm lucky enough to live in a very accepting country (as far as sexuality is concerned) but that they feel like I've lied to them!
    I'm not embarrassed that I'm gay but I'm embarrassed that I lied to everyone for so long. Has anyone else felt this way?
     
  2. BookDragon

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    "I'm embarrassed that I lied to everyone for so long"

    This is probably the most common and the most wrong feeling I hear from people coming out!

    You haven't lied to anyone. Lying is done with intent to mislead. Usually to harm. You haven't done anything to harm these people, you just haven't told them about it yet.

    You have no obligation to tell any of these people your orientation. You don't have to ever tell anyone if you don't want to, you could just date a man and let them find out that way if you really wanted to. You haven't lied to anybody, you've just not been an open book and there is NOTHING wrong with that. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Hopefilled

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    Be as you need to be.
     
  4. stocking

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    I feel the same I came out as bi but i'm actually a lesbian but it's not my fault I didn't know and You know what I don't think your a liar you weren't sure it's not your fault .
    I know your worrying about what other people think so am I but it's not your fault and you are not a liar .
     
  5. ladylovelylocks

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    Nah you aren't lying to people you just haven't told them, don't feel bad about it! Plus you are really under no obligation to tell someone your orientation. It's something you share because you choose to and want to not because you ae obligated or owe it to them.

    One thing you said about wishing you didnt have/develop a straight personality stuck out to me here so I am gonna touch on that. There is really no such thing as a gay or straight or bisexual personality. There is only YOUR personality :slight_smile: