If I had pills right now. I would take them all.

One of the wonderful things with the body is that you can CHANGE. It's not too late to get in shape, it never is. It takes time and dedication but it's not too late to change, if that is what you wish for.

And you're not a failure, no one is. Look at yourself and the pain you're in right now, there are other people out there that are in the same pain. Instead of ending your life, why not help others? You can make a difference in this world, you can help others. Even the smallest things can brighten up someones day.

You have so much that you can give to the world, why throw that away? No one deserves to die and no one deserves to be alone.

The one thing you deserve right now is a hug, and someone to talk to. So please don't give up, not like this.

 

Don't you have anyone close to you that you can talk with? Family or friends? It does help to talk with someone, and to get things of your chest. It's not going to take away the pain, but it will make it easier to live with for the moment.

 

How old are you if i may ask?

 

I don't know what your relationship with your family looks like, but you'll have to talk with them eventually. You don't have to mention certain things to them if you don't want to, but just saying "Hey, i'm not feeling too well, could we talk a little bit?" could do wonders. And don't you have any online friends that you could speak to? Sometimes it's easier to talk with someone that you'll not have to look in the eyes the next day.

 

You can always change the things you don't like in your life though you will probably have to work hard for it. I know it sound like a cliche, and that it is not probably what you want to hear. but, prove yourself that you can change if you want.

I think that if you thing that your situation is bad that means that you have loads of room for improvement. So yeah, just work on getting there, and I am talking about both appearence and getting comfortable with making new friends, etc... And be patient because it takes time. i used to be way overweight, and depressed so believe me when i say that it can be done and that afterwards you will be proud of your achievements

Suicide is always a bad option, I am sure there is people that care about you, that would love to help you and that you will be able to help (when I was depressed I even thought about going somewhere to help people in need!).

I hope that helps, and that my english wasn't too terrible. xx

P.S. I Have seen your photo in your profile and you are a handsome guy so don't think low of yourself. Besides physical fitness is soemthing that can always work to improve.

 

Hey man,

I remember you posting a pretty similar message a while back... I see you're not doing much better, sorry about that.

I think you're suffering from depression. Your words are way too harsh, and everything's negative in what you say. You see yourself as ugly, when in fact you look quite good if may say so myself.

Can you go to a doctor, before you do something bad?

 

Welcome to the club. d20 3.0/3.5 addict. (If you don't know what that is without using google, you ain't one of us.)

I don't know what you did to deserve to die. However I severely doubt that it's as bad as all that. As for who would want to know you, I would.

Oh tell me about it. I can't figure out how to buy stuff at the store when I'm holding an empty bottle of what I'm supposed to get! and yeah, don't have a friend in the world.

How do I define "friend": I consider anyone who is willing to spend time in my presence, when they are not getting paid by me or someone else to be there, and they are not related to me genetically or by marriage. So I do have family, just no friends.

No. It would not. The world would be a darker place and I would weep. I weep for all those who I try to help and fail. I've saved 4 kittens from the brink of death this past year, but I can only think of the one that died. Kiefer, you will be missed.

You are not thinking clearly. You need to wish whoever is making you suffer like this was never born. See? If THEY were never born, you'd be happy! As for wishing you are not you... I'm right there with you, pal. However, instead of turning my self-loathing to destructive purposes, you can pull an Abraham Lincoln and say, "I hate myself, I'd better get improving." He's been my inspiration. He was an ugly nerd, too, don't you know? Might have been gay, but that's just a rumor.

Genetics, accidents, self-esteem has a big factor to do with it. trust me, if you like yourself and treat yourself well, people will notice.

Going to go with self-esteem again.

Because we are all unique. Nobody is alike. Think of yourself as a Chorus. There are bits and pieces of "song" that come in and out of your life as you grow and develop. Some of these bits of song "rhyme" with other people. For example, We share the Song "English Language." We also have "Ugly" and "Nerd" and "Self-Loathing". We do not share a indominable attitude of "Fuck it" and "never say die". I suggest trying to pick it up. It's not as nice as self-esteem, but you can fake it fairly well.

Wish I could answer that myself. I think it has something to do with being Bi. If I was a flamer, I think it'd be easier. But I'm not. I'm a mostly straight acting guy who thinks like a woman and who is overly emotional. I was sent to the Funny farm for Crying in public because a man as big as me who cries is either 1) going to hurt himself, or 2) Going to kill everyone. When I told the police I was attacked, they told me I was crazy and had me committed. No Way a Man as big as me could be attacked. I must be lying.

As for the partner, have you been looking? Your lack of self-esteem will only attract sexual preditors who want to take advantage of you. You really should try liking yourself.

And you do have a fucking life like everyone else. Everyone else's life is fucked up too. It's just that you only notice the ones with less fucked up lives. Trust me, there are those of us with MORE fucked up lives. Ever been in a coma? had your face sewn back on? How many screws holding your skull together? When was your first gay bashing? Mine was 2nd grade.

Yeah, someone relating how horrible HIS life was doesn't help you. Here's the part that does. I survived. You never get over it. You just get through it. You get past it. You never get over it. It becomes part of your "chorus" for weal or for woe. You accept it and move on.

Well, I don't want you to die either. Living is a bitch, I'll give you that. It is possible to survive.

Again, with the deserving to die. I don't understand. What did you do to deserve this? And the grave is a very boring place. I do not recommend it.

Yes. You are hurting. I agree. And your emotions are burning you up. And I understand you most likely aren't looking for someone to take your statements at face value. But I am. I am taking you seriously. You deserve that.

Life is not fair. This is a good thing. Imagine the world was fair. That would mean everything horrible that has happened to you was your fault. Only bad people would have bad things happen to them. That would mean I am a bad person.

But life is not fair. Good things happen to bad people. Bad things to good people. What this means is the bad things that happened to you do not make you a bad person. You do NOT deserve to die.

It means there is hope. because no matter how bad it is, or what force is allied against you, life might be unfair in your favor at shear random chance. Against all odds, something wonderful might happen.

I've had that happen a few times. It can happen for you.

---------- Post added 17th Jan 2014 at 09:13 PM ----------

Oh come on now. Now you just aren't trying. Even a cave dwelling mutant such as myself can make a "friend" on line. Well, actually. By the way I define being friends, no. No I cannot. But I can make casual acquaintances. And if -=I=- can make an acquaintance, then anyone can. BELIEVE me. I'm an asshole. I have this personal belief of just stating the truth and not giving a fuck. Really pisses people off.

But you know, I have a personal goal. I want to live long enough to witness first hand the heat death of the universe. Got a ways to go. Might get chilly. I'm planning on packing some sweaters. But until i achieve my goal, I just keep blundering forward.

They say that which does not kill you makes you stronger. So I figure I gotta be fuckin' immortal at this point.

Oh. I don't hate you. Don't hate anyone. Hate is like a load of bricks. Just put it down and walk away. Yeah, you feel foolish. You've been hauling these bricks around and you don't want it to be for nothing. I mean, look at these bricks. I can do SOMETHING with these bricks. But nothing you do with the bricks will ever make up for what it costs you to carry them around. It's called cutting your losses.

Put it down. Walk away.

 

Hey. You lied to me.

I just looked at your pic, nothing ugly there. Throw a little polish in the genetic mix and I'd swear I was looking in the mirror. You even part your hair like me. Hey, does your hair get wavy when you let it grow too long? I gotta practically shave my head or I start looking like black haired Jesus. At least you got a chin. Gotta go with a cheese chin beard, otherwise nobody takes me seriously.

Any idea how much it sucks to be 40, and look like your 28? The horkin' zits don't help. Seriously. I have to scrape my face with a green Scrubby pad. You know, something you normally you use for dishes. But I'd rather have a few red marks then what happens when I only use soap and water. I look like the surface of Titan. Nothing works. Sorry. Off topic.

Again. I was willing to accept you at face value about the ugly thing, but what I see is an average person. Hardly Ugly. Let me let you in on a secret.

Those "beautiful" people? The ones you see in TV and pictures? That's after an hour or two of making themselves look "good". You could look "beautiful" too. You just need to work on it. Like 3-4 hours a day. Like the beautiful people do. Me? Way too much work. Got stuff to do, people to see. Don't have time to spend two hours making sure my eyebrows are plucked and trimmed.

 

Hey now, why should you say nerd like it's such a bad thing? Step one is recognizing that the worst thing about you is likely your self image. People don't often judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.

You don't want to die; you want to be better. Once you find closure with things you have no control over/don't matter to mature people, the rest is finding out how to get what you want, and then getting it. And many sources I've seen suggest that each single success is built on the rubble of dozens of failures.

And at least judging by your profile pic, you're cute and slim enough for me.

 

You sir are not ugly. Do not think about yourself like that, and being a nerd is not a bad thing at all. It is a wonderful thing. You deserve to be alive, and like one other poster said the world be a littler more darker if you were not around to shine your light. I do not know you, but you need to know that you are an awesome person. You deserved to be loved, and hey...you say you don't have friends. You have friends on here who want you to know that you are great.

If you are having suicidal thoughts get help. There are online rooms where you can go to and speak to someone about them. Know that you are worthy.

 

Just FYI, I've met disgusting ugly people and you aren't one of them.

 

No, no, no! You do deserve it. Everytime you get such a negative thought, squash them. Those kind of thoughts aren't good for your self-esteem, so if you manage stop them in time, you will probably feel better about yourselves.

You're not ugly and if you feel you're really overweight, you can always change that part about you if you take some time and effort. Change your diet, get more exercise. It can be done and even if you stay the same weight, that shouldn't make you feel bad! Living healthy can take a lot of time.

If you have trouble making friends, don't worry too much. It may be that you haven't found the right people yet with the same interests or if you're just socially inexperienced, you can learn. Practise slowly with getting short conversations, meet new people and in a few years (or shorter) you can change from a shy person who doesn't talk much to people to someone who can (I had the same and still feel shy, but other people don't notice it much after a lot of practise and now I'm able to make friends and enjoy conversation).

 

gibson234 keep on talking, keep on typing, keep on going. I for one want to know more about you, you seem interesting. And ugly? As if. Sure I have my own self-esteem issues, but you know what? When I looked at your picture I smiled. You are kinda cute.

Also, if doing the stuff you love is considered being a nerd, say fuck it! I love science and games and nature and all the little details in life. If someone or yourself want's to label that as being a nerd then let them! Wear the nerd symbol with pride because it is a label of things that you love, and if you can accept that you can find other people who also love those things; and you know what? Sometimes they can even become your friend.