There's this woman that I work with that I believe I'm falling hard for. I think about her all the time. She has the most beautiful smile, I love listening to her talk, and I just want to be around her all the time. It's just not physical...I find myself being concerned about her, whenever she is upset I can tell before she even says anything its like I can feel it. I want to know more about her..her likes dislikes etc. Anytime I'm around her I get so excited..it's like nothing matters but her when she's around. BUT the problems are were coworkers, there's a significant age difference (which I don't care about), and I'm not even sure if she's lesbian or bi. So what should I do? Is this just lust or a crush? Could it be something deeper? I've never had this intense feeling for anyone before. I'm even losing sleep (smh). I thought it would go away and it's been months and the feelings only intensified. PLEASE I need some advice... Should I say something?
Being co-workers makes things a million times worse... I think you need to weight up the risk verses rewards before anything. There are a lot of obvious risks about any work place romance, throw in Bi/Homo-sexuality and it only gets worse. Look at your work place culture and past experiences to consider any likely negative outcomes. I'd suggest you take a lot of time to get to know her and make sure she was worth any risk before anything else. Worse case scenario, you need to find a new job... best case, happiness, white picket fence and adopted babies. Seems worth it. I'd say if you decide you want to "try" work something out with her, do so extremely slowly and carefully as preventative "damage control", if you will. Follow all the normal relationship rules. Make an effort to become closer with her while trying get a reading on orientation or acceptance of "alternative" orientations (no offense, me too.. maybe...). If you find out for sure she's not going to be interested you can likely back off with no negative work effects. Otherwise come out to her and evaluate the response, then if all seem good express an interest and pray. If you take things slowly and carefully, even if she's not interested in you or not Bi/Lesbian chances are you will be able to get back to a normal routine after a little awkwardness. You may even remain good friends (if that's what you want).
I know it's 'cliche' but YOLO (you only live once) if you really like her then I suggest you start by getting to know her. Ask her out for lunch, or just start a convo with her, maybe then you could find out what are her views on the LGBT scene and if she is straight/gay... If the outcome is possitive n she's into women (and you) then I'm sure you both can be careful in work and not give the game away while you get to know each other. I say just bite the bullet and start talking to her!!! Good luck xxx
I have to agree, get to know her but take it slow! I'm in a very similar position in my job, although I know my crush is bisexual , but I have not taken things slowly enough, and seem to have messed things up between her and a couple of other people she has been seeing I really love her and believe we could have a great future, white picket fence and all, but not just yet as she has been confused about what she wants and has been seeing others, but she tells me she is single and if only we could have more time to talk, I truly believe we have a chance. Now how to make that happen....?
I'm in something of a similar position, me and a colleague have been talking a lot on social media etc, and have admitted we like each other. We have only reached this point after months of chatting, it's a very slow and cautious process.... I'm not out at work, she is. I've not had a relationship with a woman before, she has had a few, some ended badly so she Is not in a position to trust anyone yet. I cannot say if we will get together or not, but I am willing to try and pursue it... It is possible to buikd a relationship with someone at work,but there are so many more things to be careful about, but if you truly are interested I would say test the water...
It's been months and you haven't asked her anywhere yet? Wow. You should. Ask her to grab a coffee with you, go for drinks after work, go to an art gallery, whatever you like. Of course you should approach this as a friendship first. Go out, get to know her, talk about her likes and dislikes, tell her about you. See how it goes. If you have a good time, meet up again. Then you can ask her about private life, in more or less direct ways. You being coworkers is not a problem as long as you approach this situation sensibly. Don't just show up one day and confess being in love. This will make things awkward, no matter her sexual orientation and/or views on same sex attraction.
