Hey everyone! So the thing is, i recently started to date a girl and she is really amazing! I am so in love with her that it hurts! But i am pretty new at this girl to girl stuff and she is not sure if she wants to be in a relationship right now i think she is afraid that i might run away, but i know for sure that i won't and i already told her that if i wanted to run away i would already be gone. I am so in love with her that thinking about her with another girl kills me inside. When i am with her it's like there is nobody else than her and me. Every time i'm with her i can feel that her heartbeat is going faster than it should and that a good thing right? But i know that i can't go on with this if she is not 100% in it like me! I know that i am going to be a messed up at the end! Then i would rather stop it all now and get over it before it would hurt much more! But what do you guys think that i should do? I'm so confused about what to do!
A Disclaimer. This is just my personal view based on zero experience and extremely limited knowledge of the situation. I think that speculating on the reason she doesn't want to be in a relationship is a dangerous thing to do. (You said "I think" she is....) It's impossible not to make assumptions of "What-if" or "How could I" once you start to speculate about the reasons, the problem here is all this is resting on an unknown. You may set yourself up to, or start to waiting for things to change or start changing things yourself, but it could ultimately be for nothing if the base assumption is wrong. I realise that sometimes that's all you can go on because knowing the "truth" isn't a possibility at the time, after all you still need to respect peoples need for space, time, privacy ect. Despite these things I still think you should always endeavour to find "truth" in all situations. My opinion would be to sit down when you both have time and are comfortable and get it all out in the open. Let her know you are interested in a committed relationship with her and if she is reluctant politely ask to know why. If it's something you can help her with, or make her comfortable with, great, do it. If she just needs time, let her know you can give it to her (but be firm you can't wait forever, you need to live as well, right?) Or if she just isn't interested or there is nothing that can be done to help her with it, well... then you need to consider if you can just remain friends, or if you should cut contact. I always think getting these things out into the open is best, dwelling, or waiting for a chance of happiness (that may never even come) isn't fair to yourself, you deserve better. You said you care about her though, so give it a chance, do what you can to fight to make it work out... but if it can't... do the hardest thing, be honest with yourself and move on. Good luck, I wish you all the best.
i think you need to sit down and talk. thats all i can say. you dont really need to know why she doesnt want a relationship, just that she doesnt want a relationship, well.... she said she doesnt know. if she doesnt know if she wants a relationship she cant keep stringing you along as you seem pretty for it and she is sitting on the fence. you both need to want it for it to work. all i can say is you should really talk about it and there isnt an easy way to do it apart from bring it up.
Thanks for taking your time to write me back! I know i really have to talk to her about this and she knows that i want to talk to her about it, so that a good thing i guess. I am just afraid that it ends up with me getting so damn hurt! I haven't been in love for the past 4 years and now i finally find one i fell in love with! it's hard for me to just let that feeling go it's so rare! When i am with her it's like she feel the same way about me as i feel about her! I guess i just have to face the fact that i just have to sit down and talk to her about it! ---------- Post added 19th Jan 2014 at 01:59 PM ---------- Thanks! It's nice that you took your time to reply! I think you're right! i am just so scared of how it all will end up! I really don't want to lose her :-/ I guess the only way to find out if we can work it out would be to sit down and talk about it all!
