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Feels like I'm losing him....

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Bosho, Jan 19, 2014.

  1. Bosho

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    I've posted on here a few times before with tremendous results. I have faith that the great advice from everyone will aid me once again. I've posted here before regarding the situation I am currently in with regards to a guy I have been falling for. Recently we haven't been talking as much as we used to. He doesn't know I'm bisexual. I want to tell him and say that I really like him. Easy said then done, nonetheless. I feel like he's drifting from me. I want to be with him. There is an age difference between us (I'm 20 and he's 24). I know that's not that big of a difference but I feel it's playing a role with me having difficulties opening up to him. Over the past 2 weeks, he's been on my mind. It seems every moment is filled with thoughts of him. I haven't seen him in two weeks and I painfully miss him. I think he might have found someone else but I'm not sure. This is all very new, confusing, and frankly, very scary for me. Never felt like this about a guy before. I feel like he would understand but I just don't know how to approach him about it. I don't want to offend him or hurt him by saying that I'm bi and have feelings for him (especially if he is actually seeing someone new). We started talking a little yesterday, but nothing has been said between us today. The thought of him, at the very list, not talking to me, breaks my heart. I really care about him. I wish this wasn't so difficult. It seems this huge wall is blocking my happiness with him. I know that if I were with him and out as bi, I would be the happiest man in the world. But, at the end of the day, it seems like I'm never going to be happy. Ever.
     
  2. Canfer

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    It's like you said, It's easier said then done. But be patient and try to find a way to contact him more often, to know about how he is, what he's been up to, etc. And when you have enough courage, tell him about what you feel. You will feel more free, you will see it.
     
  3. Bosho

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    I came out to him the other day. First person I've told. It was really hard for me to do. Luckily, he was really sweet about it and said that he was there for me. I wanted to tell him my feelings for him, but I just couldn't. I still want to. We don't really talk all that much any more and he doesn't reply to my messages.
     
  4. mbanema

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    First of all, congrats on coming out to him! It's always a difficult thing to do, but to tell someone you like in that way is even more daunting. I'm glad to hear he responded positively.

    Is it possible your view of the situation is a little bit more negative than it really is? If you just came out to him between the 19th and 24th I don't know how fair it is to say you never talk anymore. Ignoring messages is a little bit concerning, but you may just need to give him a little bit of time to adapt and then hopefully your relationship will be stronger afterwards. Keep taking the initiative though -- some people just don't like to start conversations and wait for people to come to them.

    I think it's a good idea for you to tell this guy your feelings for him, but I recommend waiting until you're communicating a bit better or more consistently. The last thing you want is to throw something like that out there when you're already worried about when the next time you'll talk to him is.
     
  5. Bosho

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    You're right. I think I am making my situation a little darker than it actually is. It's just how it feels. I just really miss him. I just haven't seen him in a long time. I can't see him often because I feel I would be outed sooner than I'd like to be. I agree with waiting until we are communicating more strongly to throw my feelings at him. I'll continue to taking the initiative to talk to him, even if no response comes of it. Keeps the advice rolling in, I thoroughly appreciate it. I'll take all I can get! Thank you, everyone! :slight_smile: