Still Trying to Make Myself Straight

Hmm, WHY do you want to change? Is it simply because of the smaller number of gay vs. straight people?

 

Why do you feel like you aren't lesbian? Why do you need to be straight?

Why do you feel like an outcast?

 

Hun, I don't think that there is a lack of women attracted to other women. What there is a lack of is women who are out and proud. I know it's not easy. In my city there isn't a single lesbian bar but a million gay bars. The lesbian community appears small when in actuality it is just less active.

Be proud that you are confident enough to be yourself despite what others may think. Also keep reminding yourself how beautiful it will be when you find the girl of your dreams. Wouldn't it be awful to pretend to be straight? I mean, that way, you will feel awful and you will also make your male companion feel awful for lying to him. Every one deserves a shot at love. If you were going to miss out on it you would bring down some nice guy with you as well. You will also risk your true happiness and make others worry for you. That's not so fun.

You're right though, you won't fit in the "straight" world if you are looking at it only from your romantic preference angle. If you look at it this way, every straight person is more or less some thing like us. We all have dreams. We all have memories. We all get our hearts broken and rebuilt. So in a nutshell, even though we have it harder in the romantic department, we are not ALL that different from them. Besides, most straight girls want to experiment with other women and have "women" crushes....so in some ways you are even similar in the romantic department it's just that you take relationships with women seriously and you cannot see yourself with a man.

 

I know the feeling. I wish I wasn't trans and hadn't needed to transition.
It would have been better for everyone - me, my family, my friends - if I'd never transitioned. But I had to.
Being cis would have been so much easier, but denying yourself only works for so long.

 

"and the rest of the world is straight"

It most definitely isn't...not by a long shot...

 

I tried to make myself straight and sometimes i still question my sexuality but i'm reaching a point where i'm actually like being a lesbian . At a time in my life at 22 years old i did not want to use the word lesbian to describe myself but back then i did not know i was a lesbian . What i did was I did not push away my thoughts or feels about other women I explored them and accepted them and accepting does not mean liking you can accept your thoughts and not like them but don't run away from them welcome them and explore them .
That's what helped me . I remember I told a guy friend of mine that I wanted to be with other women he told me don't waste your time women can't do anything sexually but even if that were true I still wanted to we with women .

 

you may hide from it but not change how you feel. i tried for years to be " " normal " & not an offence to god. as long ago as i could rember i was attracted to females, a phase everyone called it. i'm 48 now and all i managed to do was waste time and feeling unhappy.

 

I'm finally accepting myself as a lesbian. During middle school and high school, I thought there was something wrong with me for not having a boyfriend or really any guy crushes. I think I tried to suppress the feelings I had for girls so I could pretend to be straight and just uninterested in a relationship for made up reasons. The truth is, I wanted a relationship like everyone else had, I just didn't want it with a guy. Realizing that has changed my whole life and given me hope for a future relationship with a woman.

 

That's how I feel sometimes. I don't know any lesbians in real life. Most of the time it seems like I'm living in a hetero world where I'm the odd one. I used to have a friend who wasn't straight and it made me feel better about everything. Now I'm alone again. It's not that I think straight people are that different, there are just things that they will never have to worry about. For example, I can't openly talk to my parents about dating and relationships because if I said I wanted a girlfriend, I'd be judged harshly. And I'm sure some people would look down on me if they knew. Still you can't change the fact that you are attracted to women and become straight or bi at will. It's pointless to force yourself, in the end it would only make you more unhappy.

 

If I recall from other threads you are admittedly religious. Have you been indoctrinated that being a lesbian is wrong? Is there such over zealous homophobia in the church that it is actually preaching hate now?

You need to let go of that guilt, I've always felt the catholic guilt personally for ANYTHING I perceived as wrong because of what the church said. If you read the bible (New Testament) Jesus never preached hate of any person.

You must unlearn what you have learned and begin to love yourself for who you are... Not "what" you are.

 

After desperately trying for 7-8 years to find ANY sorts of attraction to guys, my hope in eventually changing my orientation is grim.

I don't condemn or judge those who are out and proud, but I have personal convictions about it, so, as of now, I've resolved to live a life of celibacy. You're not alone.

 

I know the providence area fairly well, brown university has a strong LGBT community. If not you can always visit the friendly northern state of MA.

You do need to learn to let go however or you will never be at peace.

 

You will figure it out for yourself.

The crushing on straight girls though, sorry. We always want what we can't have huh?