Tired.... probably going to get hate from this

I stay away from the 'Queer Community' in general because I find it's full of people who want/need to grandstand and/or seek attention. It seems to very 'image' driven and competitive.
Of course not all of them are like that, but the people I described are very loud and domineering, so they set the tone.

 

You could say the same about literally any group of people...

 

Very true. Or more accurately, any group of people who are currently in vogue.
The hipster crowd has become very enamoured of the queer and feminist scene lately.

 

Why associate with people who are of the same sexual orientation only? Don't you have other interests?

 

I can't say as I spend a ton of time specifically in the "gay community", but when I do, I expect to find, well, the type of people who spend a ton of time specifically in the "gay community". And that includes a bunch of different tropes - young fashion-conscious club-goers, heavy-duty gay activists, older hairy guys who are into leather, drag queens, etc etc. And although I don't fit into any of those categories (well, OK, you could toss a leather jacket on me and call me a bear if you'd like), I've never had any problem dealing with them. Collectively, they tend to have different interests than me, and as such, it doesn't surprise me if they'd rather talk to other people they DO have more common ground with. But recently I was in a room with about twenty such people...from a bunch of different tropes. And as such, we were all...well, just people. And as such, we interacted as such.

Lex

 

You'd be surprised at what I understand about being gay.

 

Being transgender lends a certain perspective; especially seeing as how our human and civil rights are around 20 years behind those of GLB people.

 

The gay experience isn't the same as transgender, but knowing that you aren't accepted by society at large is a problem trans and gays feel alike.

 

Me and my boyfriend both agree that despite support from straight allies the most people we trust is our own to open our hearts and minds too. I know gay people that after high school most of the people they surround themselves with our glbt cause they trust them the most.

 

P.S.

There are a lot of straight superficial promiscuous people too.

 

Agreed. I sometimes wonder if cis people can ever truly understand trans people.

 

I don't think a cis person can ever fully understand to the same degree as a trans person can understand the trans experience. This is coming from a cis-lesbian. I think the bottom line is that we all have to acknowledge that there are some things we don't understand and we need to clear the stage for people to talk about their own experiences. Hence, we can't talk for some one..we need to empower people to talk for themselves.

I know I always hated it when my family members or friends who are cis-straights would talk over me about my "own experience" and then expect some round of applause for some nonsense they dreamed up which has nothing to do with how I feel as a lesbian.....So ya........

 

Ha! I totally know the feeling. I roll my eyes when people go into long monologues about what it must be like for trans people, or pull out lengthy (and exaggerated) anecdotes to try and prove they understand.
Then they want a gold star or a pat on the back for it as well, even though they are often being insensitive, simplistic or just plain wrong.

Still, at least they are trying, right?

 

you must hang out at velvet too much lol

 

I think maybe you should look at where you are encountering the "gay community." When I first came out I encountered gay people mainly in bars. Don't get me wrong--I actually enjoyed the bar scene--partly because I sort of fell in with a really great group of about 20 guys. Later on though, I led a gay book group at a local bookstore, was in an activist group, belonged to a largely gay gym. My partner belonged to a gay bowling league, a gay choir. I guess I'm just saying maybe it's the venue, not "the community". From what I have seen of straight bars I'm pretty sure if I only ever encountered straight people in bars I would have a pretty low opinion of them indeed.

 

Honestly. I feel as though I am only attracted to straight guys because so far the only gay people I've ever met are feminine. I don't like the rainbows, the stereotypes and i know that is NOT what gay means. I think that stereotype makes it harder to be gay. I don't know that this is what you mean but I have felt this way for a long time. Idk maybe a part of me just wants that which i can not have?