Hello EC. First off: I've had a depression for about three years or so even though I didn't know why I was feeling so tired and shit all the time at first. But there are also so many things to deal with in life at the moment so I feel kind of numb most of the time. To name some of the things: 1. Broke up with my boyfriend a few weeks before christmas because of reasons (me being lesbian, not wanting the same things in the future, him being insecure, me feeling stuck etc) and even if we have descided to stay friends it's really hard, and I feel so guilty for breaking his heart. 2. My dad had a stroke in the beginning of november. It was totally unexpected and he is kind of too young to get a stroke and so on, so it was a chock. Luckily it could have been a lot worse, he has gotten much better and it didn't really affect his "mind" anything or what to say. Only the left side of his body (which he had to practice a bit to use again, but he walks and everything now) and some of his sight was reduced. Still pretty scary! 3. I kind of lost my job because if me being ill. It was kind of nice to get put on the sick-list (is that even what you say?! tried to look it up) so I could for once get some rest. But now I don't really have much money as a result and I kind of have to get a job soon again. 4. I don't have many close friends. I know a fair amount of people but I don't really spend time with anyone. And there are only two who I like to hang out with and who lives nearby, but I'm only close to one of them and I don't want to be annoying and be in touch with her all the time. Still, I miss just talking to people who have the same interests and me because I'm feeling a bit lonely. 5. I feel like I'm stuck in this numbness a bit. I've always been the one who wanted to get away and move to other places and travel a lot, but now I'm just here. Alone in my flat. I don't mind being and living alone, that's fine, but it would be nice to have people to talk to and meed once in a while. And I would love to travel again soon, when I get some money again. So I don't really know what I wanted to say about all this. Just wanted to write it down I guess. Also, I don't know why but it feels like it's getting harder and harder for me to really connect to people because I always think that they have their busy lives with theis close friends and all that. I've never actally had a true BFF. I've had best friends and we said we would be best friends always but now I don't talk to them at all. So yeah, that's me right now. Feel free to say hello! I'm not actally as sad as I sound from this post, but yeah... I think I can be fun to talk to if we have something to talk about. Hope I didn'y make too many typos, I can never be bothered to read through something I just wrote. I barely do that when I'm writing essays either.
Hey! In spite of going through a lot, it Seems your better now. But you really need to have a good friend to talk about your things, and to be relieved from your stressful thoughts or feelings. Don't worry, with time, the things will start going the way you want.
Thanks for your replies. I know things get better over time, I just wish I could speed things up a bit sometimes. Also setnyx, I think I spot Spike in your picture if I'm not mistaken! I've just started watching through Buffy from the beginning again. One of my favourites Spike is the best.
