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Drinking is cool sometimes

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by megaloveme, Jan 24, 2014.

  1. megaloveme

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2014
    Messages:
    35
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    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    But for the LOVE OF GOD, why can't I find any lesbian hangouts online that aren't bars? Seriously? Unless you're living in a city with a significant amount of gays (which is nowhere near where I live), there isn't anything to be found about gay hangouts that don't card you. Maybe I just don't know where to look, but I can't find anything online and I just don't live in a big city. Or even next to one. I'd have to make a big trip of it, but first, I'd like to know my options, at least, without having to travel to new york or california. Maybe I just want to stay within my own state. Or a neighboring one, anyway.

    Drinking is cool, and I like to drink a bit. It's just not totally legal for me, just yet. I just don't have gaydar. I look at people and see people, not other queer folk like myself. I don't know how to identify gay people by clothing or behavior unless they make it super obvious. I'm new to this. But where do I go from here? I only know ONE gay person, and if I spoke to him about queer stuff it would get back to my parents. I know this because I tried once. That's another story, but somehow I managed to make everyone forget about it. It comes up again and life as I know it would be gone forever.

    I guess maybe I'm not looking for a relationship, I just want to actually meet like-minded people so I don't feel so out of place in the world. Forums are great, but it's just not the same as sitting down and talking to people face to face. And maybe I want those people to be sober (but I can pretty much guarantee that when conversation starts, I'll probably be praying for a drink).

    I'm stuck in a place where being gay is dirty and it scares people. It scares me, even, just not in a homophobic way. More like in a 'wtf is happening to me' way. I'm feeling quite alone in my little town. Maybe I am, maybe I'm the only lesbian who lives here. I wouldn't know, because there aren't any F-ing GAY HANGOUTS.

    Actually, this place is so tiny that there aren't any straight hangouts either, but that doesn't make me feel better.
     
  2. emkorora

    emkorora Guest

    I grew up for 12 years (age 7 to 19) in a small town in central Oregon with 3,000 people in the district-- most of which were ranchers who lived elsewhere. The entire HS had maybe 400 people.

    After those 12 years, I moved to Portland with nearly a million people (although, that depends on whether you count the surrounding cities like Beaverton and Gresham-- which are so close to Portland they don't count as independent cities).

    ANYWAYS...

    ... I do not know how estranged your town is from the rest of the world, but even while I lived in my small town there was a nearby city named Bend that hosted 170,000+ people. And they had their own dedicated gay bar, a PRIDE event in the park during June, etc. I think if you're willing to venture out a bit, you'll find there's lots of things to find. Even in the most unlikely places.

    :\ I think we both know that if you're certain there's only 1 other LGBT person in your town then moving elsewhere might interest you if you're keen on finding other LGBT people.
     
  3. megaloveme

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2014
    Messages:
    35
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Idaho
    Gender:
    Female
    Sexual Orientation:
    Lesbian
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    This is where it gets complicated. I can't have my husband knowing that I'm seeking out women. He's much too suicidal to take it well. There's no way it would go well. I'm not planning on cheating on him, but something has to give because I can't just ignore this anymore. I need to make some friends who relate to me. Moving, though, isn't an option right now. It's a bit of a complicated situation and I'm not really sure what I'm going to do.