My boyfriend found my lesbian porn secret folder...

Hi everyone,
okays so like my boyfriend found like my secret lesbian porn folder on my laptop before we left to attend his family's Australia day celebration thing and kept it to himself until he brought it up to me privately when we were leaving. I told him that I was planning a special surprise for him where I would let him choose any girl he wanted to have a threesome with and I just wanted to get comfortable with the idea before doing it. I think he bought into it cause he was all like we don't have to have a threesome cause he only wants to be with me, but now that I thought of that super genius idea I'm just wondering if it'd be wrong to pursue this idea and convince him even though he doesn't want to, yet, cause like if I could get with him and a girl at the same time I think I could figure out for sure which I like more or would that be selfish or something? Also it was my first time at his parents place, I've met them before but it was my first time at their place, and I kept secretly appraising the value of their possessions while they weren't looking, is that wrong? Their table was beautiful, and I could of sworn that it wasn't antique but then I secretly gouged into it with my fork. The things I care about...

 

So do you think i shouldn't? cause I've never been with a girl but I have thought about it a lot and I think I would like it. I'm not sure how I would be with a girl on an emotional level, like I assume it'd be like the same with my boyfriend now unlike other guys I've been with cause with him I feel totally safe and he likes me so much plus he's rich and he looks good and it is kinda fun when we get together but still I've always had a thing for other girls especially when I was younger. I really do want to explore these feelings especially now that university is coming but I really like the guy I'm with now and he's like my only constant in my life right now, I don't think he'd want anything to do with me if I left him to try dating girls especially with how much he likes me. So how do I explore these feelings and while not losing him.

I know but his parents estate is really nice, also I don't get why he doesn't want to have a threesome with me like I've talked to his ex's before and they've told he has had threesomes with them and I just put my password on my laptop so whoot whoot.

 

I did accept it but then I dunno I started to like my boyfriend I'm with now like emotionally and physically which was a first for a guy I've dated, everything would be fine if I didn't have such unresolved feelings of whether I did like other girls cause I'm assuming I do but I've never tried it out but then why do I like the guy I'm with so much, like my mind is usually always thinking about him and if it's not then it's about my unresolved feelings and curiosity. If it is that he doesn't want to share me that kinda just makes me like him more since his ex's were pretty as well.

I think your right with the taking a break stuff, but I can't come up with a reason to suggest it since I can't say I might be into other girls. I don't think he'll take it so well if I did tell him though since we're both so attached to each other and we haven't reached a point where he is starting to detach so he wouldn't reach a place of understanding. I will ask him though why he is uncomfortable to have a threesome with me even though he has had threesomes with his ex's. I'll call him now.

 

I called and well he was kinda mad at his ex's for telling me but he said that he doesn't want any other girl but me and that he loves me, I thought he exposed himself and showed enough feelings so I said I loved him too. Couldn't I just cheat to figure it out so then he doesn't know and he'll still be with me cause these unresolved feelings are eating away at me.

 

You have a point, but what If i do break up with him and then I figure out I like both or don't even like women that way and then he moves on cause I've had had those feelings of something missing but those with other guys, with him I actually enjoy it but I guess I kinda have to if I want to figure myself out. Can I break up with him on the phone or would would that be like a dick move or something?

I do get butterflies but like I also feel pretty heinous that he likes me so much and that I'm not sure if I like girls as well and he probably deserves better. I realized I liked girls actually cause I got really close with one of my best friends who was on the cheerleading team with me but I don't know that could have been an attachment thing instead since I couldn't trust a lot of people in high school and at the time I thought I could trust her, but she tried to back stab me to become more popular so I ended up spreading rumors about her before she could do anything but after that I started to think about other girls but even before that I wondered what it was like but that's what made me realize it.

 

I think taking a leap of faith is inherent in every question of sexuality.

To explore your passion for other ladies, you might lose him. You might find that this was a great idea because women are all you ever truly wanted. However, you might be incorrect and find yourself missing him.

It's a risk we all take. :\

 

I think you're right, I'm going to call him to come over to tell him that we have to break up, can you guys be online though cause I'm really going to need support with this.

 

Yeah I called him to tell him to come over cause I have something important to tell him, so he'll be here in like 30 minutes or something, I don't know what to tell him why I'm breaking up with him. I need a solid lie that's not that I like girls maybe, I need one that's like reasonable and understandable.

 

Omg I swear I'm so scared, normally I'm straight up confident when I break up with a guy but I dunno I feel heinous this time. Support team. (&&&) I'm scared if I say I can't handle a relationship he'll be like I can help you work it out or something and then I have nothing to say after he says something like that. I need all your support cause I feel so heinous right now, waiting for him to come is feeling like it's taking ages.

 

Okays I see him parking his car outside my house through my window, wish me luck. I'll report back when it's done.