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Does anyone else deal with this?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by flymetothemoon, Jan 26, 2014.

  1. flymetothemoon

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    I have family that are die-hard Republican anti-gay anti-anything liberal at all even remotely so. They don't have any problem making it known that they don't agree with me, but they don't expect me to be able to do the same. I don't know if they think I'm dumb, unable to argue, or if they're just convinced I shouldn't argue because they "know everything" and I'm wrong. I don't know. But it drives me nuts! Does anyone else deal with this? Have you decided it's best just to shut your mouth and not say anything? Or do you keep saying what's on your mind?

    EDIT: Oops, sorry, just realized this probably should have been posted in family, friends, and relationships forum. Mods, can you please move it to the appropriate forum if that's what you think is best as well? Thanks. My apologies.
     
    #1 flymetothemoon, Jan 26, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2014
  2. BookDragon

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    "Have you decided it's best just to shut your mouth and not say anything? Or do you keep saying what's on your mind?"

    Sometimes I'll avoid topics if I know it's going to end in an argument, 'cause my parents can't debate AT ALL, they just get angry, but if they start on something I'll call them up on it every time.
     
  3. flymetothemoon

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    Well it's not so much in person for me. That side of the family doesn't bother with seeing me unless they can't get out of it. They don't attend events I invite them to, and they don't bother inviting me to events for their family. It's more that they want to pretend to be friends by being friends on facebook, and then they'll post things like "Liberals don't know how to think two steps ahead. Congrats on the minimum wage increase. Now our happy meals will cost $64.93." and if I comment back to it asking how they would like those people to survive without the wage increase since they don't want to see the government aid programs that help people who don't make enough to continue they seem to be offended, but they don't want me to be offended when they comment negatively on posts I make.
     
    #3 flymetothemoon, Jan 26, 2014
    Last edited: Jan 26, 2014
  4. AudreyB

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    What is it with parents, not being able to debate or discuss things on an adult level, instead degenerating into childish emotionality? Why does it have to be left to us, the children, to be the adult ones? Is this a generational thing, or what? Shouldn't they, with all of their years of experience and knowledge vastly dwarfing ours, be able to perceive matters beyond their black-and-white tinted spectacles?

    Sorry, getting ranty and diffuse here, but I completely relate to this dilemma. Sometimes I wonder why it's left to me, a college student, to set my 60 year-old mother straight about things that her years of "wisdom" should have taught her long ago? (Hard for me to keep my mouth shut, futile that it is.)
     
  5. blond

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    My parents are like that, and i usually speak my mind which almost always turns into heated arguments. so yeah i know what its like.
     
  6. Andrew99

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    Well my mom isn't republican or liberal she's not into that politics bullshit but my dads a republican though and I know my mom would except me if I told her who I really was but i can't say my dad would and with arguments i never shut my mouth believe me I never hold back anything. It can turn into heated fights and arguments but At least I said what I needed to say
     
  7. BookDragon

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    " It's more that they want to pretend to be friends by being friends on facebook, and then they'll post things like "Liberals don't know how to think two steps ahead. Congrats on the minimum wage increase. Now our happy meals will cost $64.93." and if I comment back to it asking how they would like those people to survive without the wage increase since they don't want to see the government aid programs that help people who don't make enough to continue they seem to be offended, but they don't want me to be offended when they comment negatively on posts I make."

    Then had you considered un-friending them...sure they are family, but if they can't be bothered to actually engage with you in the real world and your only real contact is when they spew political drivel on to their facebook walls why would you want to keep that there?
     
  8. flymetothemoon

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    For my mother who thinks they will come around in time and has requested that I leave them there. It's her whole side of the family, so I think she's having a harder time dealing with their inability to accept me than I am. Her parents seem to be sort of coming around to the idea of my wife being in the picture, but her siblings and their children show no indication of this, but I also know that it would upset my mom if she saw I defriended them, so I don't.

    I have made it very clear to her that if and when I have children, it will be a different situation and if they can't stop spewing hate, they won't be welcome to have any contact with my family because I don't need my kids hearing that from them, but until then, I have agreed to leave the strings that are left hanging attached.