I'm going through a rough time accepting how the love of my life is choosing not to come out of the closet as bi and breaking off our relationship. Has anyone out there ever said they will never come out but found themselves coming out and accepting themselves later on? How and what made you all change your mind after being so adamant in the beginning? Is there any hope because I don't want to let her go....:tears:
Quick question: When you say 'come out', do you mean that they won't go around telling people, or they won't allow anyone to know they are bi? "How and what made you all change your mind after being so adamant in the beginning" That usually tends to be the realisation that you can't make a relationship work for very long if you are in the closet. You can't progress it if one of you is spending the whole time hoping they don't get caught and have to lie and say 'nah we're just friends'. Have they given any reason that they won't come out?
They don't want to disappoint their parents/family. She still hasn't accepted she's bi. If/when she accepts her being bi does it mean she will come out or would want to continue our relationship? I guess my question is if someone accepts themselves finally does that mean they'll come out of the closet? ---------- Post added 27th Jan 2014 at 07:31 PM ---------- I recently told her that she should read stuff online to help her sort things out and to try helping her feel more comfortable and eventually accept herself and she was open to it. But she made it clear that she would read the stuff to help her feel "ok" with being bi but not to change her decision not to come out! Why was she so adamant in saying that? Dies that mean subconsciously she wants to come out?
Is it possible for someone to insist they will never come out and then to change their mind later? Yes. Can it sometimes take years (or longer) for them to get to that point? Unfortunately, yes:/ While I've not been in your exact situation, I've been in something similar. Someone I fell really hard for. And he fell for me. But he insisted that we could never be together because his religious faith said we couldn't. We went round and round about that point for weeks until he finally decided to move away. Lots of pain and tears around this. Years later, after I'd moved clear across the country and met my partner, he got back in touch and we talked on the phone a couple times and exchanged Xmas cards for a bit. He'd finally come to accept himself and had started dating guys. We fell out of touch again after a bit, but I always wish only the best for him and that he's happy. If this person will not come out, you cannot force them. The decision you will need to make is how long you are willing to carry a candle for them before finally accepting that whatever happens with them, you need to move and live your life. Todd
Don't force her to come out I've started to accept who I am but still won't come out but then again I would if I had a bf but I don't :dry: but she has to take baby steps. She'll do it just dont rush it
Thanks I'm not rushing it. We have finally talked about her bisexuality and she is feeling guilty because she let herself open up to me and said that she was mad that she went along with her feelings....she's struggling with the fact that she thinks she is choosing something wrong because she is bi and can be with men with no regrets. She says she accepts herself as bi but is frustrated because she is not fully straight nor fully gay....
