So if anyone's read my post they know the struggle I have been going through but I've actually gotten a lot better and realized that gay life was just not for me or anything that goes with it. And I started talking to a couple girls but then I focused on one 5 days ago and everything was ok, I noticed I looked at guys and I said it's ok look wherever you want bud and I didn't worry about it. But yesterday everyone was alright until my friend asked "So how's the whole situation going" and the thoughts started up again and I'm freaking out again, the girl I really liked and talked to all the time I don't feel the same, I think "don't start anything with this girl you are going to hurt her you are gay Andres". And it's so bad that I start having thoughts about family members like cousins uncles and even my brothers. Someone help?
Don't be in such a rush to call yourself gay. I say it all the time: you like whom you like. It's a convenient attitude if you do find that you get the occasional crush on a gender opposite that expected. And personally, I'd tell your friend thanks, but he needs to relax. He doesn't know you as well as you do, and can't make a call like that.
Hi, I went and read a couple of your old threads. If I read your thoughts correctly: -- You've watched gay porn multiple times but never found it arousing -- You've tried masturbating to gay porn but it isn't arousing -- You can notice that a guy is attractive but feel no sexual desire toward him -- You do feel attraction and connection to women The only other question I'd have is what you think about when you masturbate. If it is all about girls and doing things with girls, then there's pretty much no question that you're straight. If when you masturbate you find yourself thinking about guys, then things are a bit more ambiguous. What makes things complicated is the denial mechanisms that go on. But in short, if I've interpreted what you've said correctly, unless you're fantasizing about guys when you masturbate, there's zero indication that you have any actual attraction to guys so the likelihood you're straight is close to 100%. Now, that said... there are a fair number of people that have obsessive thoughts that intrude on their thinking and have no basis in reality. So it's quite possible that you're straight but just have some issues with intrusive thoughts. That would be something to talk with a therapist about. I don't generally recommend psychiatrists for such things because they are primarily trained in brain disorders and less so in the psychology behind our behaviors and thoughts. So they're more inclined to prescribe medication and less to talk about underlying feelings and behaviors. If you want to clarify about fantasies then we can probably give you better confirmation.
Thanks for commenting, the thing is I don't know honestly like I've tried to think about guys when masturbating but I would be freaking out the whole time and wouldn't and wasn't enjoyable. Now with that said I don't know if the reason I'm not being aroused is because I'm not allowing myself, so it makes me freak out more. And I mean I don't know what's going on with me anymore, sometimes I see a girl and think of all the sexual things I would like to do to her. And now with guys the gay thought of doing somethig dirty with them freak me out and I'm not sure they are just natural thoughts or I'm making myself think dirty things. But with that I freak out and I'm not sure if the freak out is because I don't like it or because I'm trying to shame myself. I can literally have a conversation with myself and say ok I'm gay it's ok. And at the end I think no you're not, and te other way around I can think I I'm straight thank god, but then think no you're not. I've lost touch with the truth and fiction in my mind, I know it's meant for a therapist but u hate having my parents worry so much.
Im going threw the same thing brotha, fight it as much as you can, DO NOT act on it. I will fight my whole life to never commit any gay acts. I have thoughts and fantasies but I refuse to ever live that way just pray and fight as much as you can. No offense to any gays...
To each his own, but this saddens me. I used to fight against being gay too and it brought nothing but despair into my life. Things got infinitely better once I accepted myself for who I am. Not trying to mock you , I wish you well, your story just reminds me of my past. I hope things get better for you, whatever path is revealed to you in life.
I would say that you should just be you but I acted on a homosexual urge and almost tried sex, It practically traumatized me, I still have the attraction but I don't plan on acting on it sexually. Alot of people let an attraction define them, you don't have too.
So I have a question at times when having these gay thoughts or watching gay porn I get a tingling sensation in penis, and I assume I have an erection but I look and nothing. But when watching straight/lesbian porn I don't notice if I have a tingling sensation but I do get an erection. This confuses me a lot because it makes me think I'm not allowing myself to get hard. ---------- Post added 6th Feb 2014 at 11:00 AM ---------- Also I never touch myself while watching until I'm ready to go, and yesterday I was watching gay porn and mentally I really tried to get into it and I think I did but no erection.
Well did you like it up to that point? Did you want that and then it got bad? Because I have thought and honestly believe I would like it at times and then other times even imagining kissing a guy sends chills through my body but I'm not sure if that's because I'm denying myself that. I'm a very confused person and appreciate feedback
I didn't really want it, but I was in the moment and couldn't stop myself, then as I started It just all went bad. The attraction and sexual urges are still there on occasion and right now there is a particular guy I feel for, but I don't want to act on it because i've tried and it wasnt for me. I wouldn't mind kissing a guy or being in a relationship. But sex or things of the sort? I suggest you steer clear till you clear your mind
so quite a lot happened this weekend. I went to a gay bar, went on a date with a girl, and kissed a guy. So we will go in order, I went to a gay bar ad the whole time I was a bit nervous and felt out of place but when I went outside with my friend(whose a girl) we spoke to a few gay people not about anything specifically but it was cool I'm ok with gay people no problem at all with them. But we went inside because I needed to see if I liked it, no regardless I don't really dance. So I stood on the side with her watching people dance and I was trying to be calm, but I saw two guys grinding and I was a bit grossed out. And then the cherry on top they had dancers two of them, good looking very built and muscle and I would watch them to see if I liked it if it got me hard, I don't believe I ever got hard. I also noticed that the whole time I was hoping that a girl would come so I could talk to one and forget where I was. The problem here is I left and nothing answered because I don't know if I gave myself a chance to like it or forced myself to hate it or if it didn't matter because I'm cool with it. So the next day I went on a date with a girl to the bowling alley, and we kissed, and I don't know if I liked it but we kissed more and more. But the thing is I said to myself "am I getting hard, ok I am, wait did I force myself, wait was I thinking of a guy when I kissed her?" It happened everytime I kissed her those thoughts. And the thing is similar to the club I asked "did I have fun? Did I force myself to kiss her did I force myself to hold her, did I force myself to smile and laugh etc etc" so I'm confused about that. And finally I kissed a guy, so I have a friend and he offered to help me out, now prior to me going he told me he would give me head if it had to come down to it to see, and with that I think I got hard, I liked the idea of getting head and that someone offered to me. But the whole way over to the park I was really anxious and nervous, so we are in the restroom, and we waited till no one was inside, and I tried to kiss him and then backed away twice because it grossed me out, rigt before he almost kissed me once I coughed because I felt like vomiting , and at the same time I just didn't want to do it I was telling myself I don't want to do this I don't want to do this. And finally I leaned in and pecked him on the lips, and I freaked out, I don't know if my eyes were open or if I got hard or if I liked it or what happened. And the thing is I can literally tell myself I made out with him when in reality it was a peck and I confirmed with him. Issue is I was happy I did it because I got it done with and these were huge steps for me, but now I'm freaking out because I don't know if I liked it, or if I want it and the fact that I kissed a guy. As you can tell I'm really messed up in the head, any advice from anyone is appreciated. Sorry for spelling and grammar issues
Dude from that, You're not gay. Well I dont think, I dont think you're straight fully tough, you're really just overthinking. You like girls, it sounds like youre trying o force yourself on guys, you dont need to. Youre just horny it seems dont worry about it.
