I just feel so alone. I live in a house with ten other people, my family members, but none of them really get me, and most of the time they just act like I don't exist. I can't take this anymore. I'm homeschooled so I don't even have the chance to meet other people, and I won't be public schooled until several months later and I can't, I just can't deal with this any longer. I keep crying over every little thing and I feel so depressed. I'd rather die than be so alone because I don't even have any real friends anymore, just acquaintances, an estranged ex girlfriend, and a friend I won't be seeing for months because she's in the hospital. I'm scared that I'm going to try to kill myself if this keeps up, I think about it all the time. Are there any ways to meet people that I can suggest to my parents that can happen sooner than going to public school?
Don't take it the wrong way, but you're only 13. You have plenty of time to flourish and make friends, and I'm sure you'll do just that when you go to public school. If you talk to your parents and tell them that you want to make some friends, maybe they might have some suggestions for things in your community where kids your age get together? Also, can you visit your friend in the hospital? She might appreciate it. Don't let the bad feelings get to you. Everybody feels lonely sometimes. It's a sad, awful feeling, but it's something that you can control with your thoughts. At the same time, you can make it seem worse than it actually is by being sad about it. You're surrounded by family members who love you. Don't feel lonely. Also: We're here. ^_^ <3
I know I have plenty of time, it's just that I feel like I can't stand waiting anymore. I grew up with my mom neglecting me and my brother always being on the computer, and back then that was the only family I've had, so it really, really bothers me to feel lonely, because I spent YEARS basically alone except for playing on the computer. I literally had no childhood friends. I can't help but let it get to me. They know I want friends and they're too caught up with their own stuff it seems to really look for ways for me to connect with people, other than going to public school. I can't visit her in the hospital because she's hours away. I may be making it out to be worse than it is but I'm just so sick and tired of feeling alone. It's been this way for my entire life, and whenever people do show me affection, I'm scared they're doing it out of pity or that they'll abandon me.
I can relate. My mom homeschooled me this year, and I haven't been able to contact any real life friends in a long time. Being alone sucks, especially when you're homeschooled. When I was a little younger than 13, I was also scared of killing myself. In fact I'm still a little scared of that even now. Are you wanting to kill yourself, planning to, or just scared that you will in the future? About that question at the end of your post, I don't think there's much you can do but wait it out until public school starts. I know it sounds awful to hear that, but just try your best to keep your hopes up. When you have some kind of event coming up that your anticipating, such as (for me) getting a car in two months or so, that can help you to stay strong and optimistic. So try to set milestones for yourself, and if your family is giving you trouble, find somewhere to just get away from them. Thankfully, public school is great to get away from your family, but I've found EC to be amazing ever since I joined a couple weeks ago. Good luck!
I'm wanting to kill myself and scared that I will in the future. Thank you... I'll try to stay patient and not let it get to me.
