1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Few attraction

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by drewf91, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. drewf91

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2013
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North East U.S
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    First off I want to say, when I find someone attractive I REALLY DO. I get in the mood a lot. I am scared for a single reason. I am 20. The oldest person I can really find hot is maybe 23-24. I am attracted to twinks . The person I have crushed on for SO long is 2 years younger then me, and that is another story... the crush-on-a-best-friend-straight-guy.

    My fear is that, I see no relationship in the future, I know NO gay guys. No gay friends. I live in a some-what suburban area, and don't want to go to a gay club 40 minutes away, without a friend to go with. I can not find a 30 year old guy the slightest bit attractive. I am NOT bi in anyway. I've had girlfriends, I've had many girls I've tried to hook up with but couldn't get... hard... I am scared I'll wind up a 40 year old creep who wants only 20 year old guys. I am wondering...

    Will I get attracted to my age as i grow up? I'm 20, and i know guys my age find 30 year old woman really attractive. So any help is appreciated.
     
  2. AKTodd

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 9, 2013
    Messages:
    3,190
    Likes Received:
    4
    Location:
    Norfolk, VA
    Everybody is different so its not possible to say anything with 100% certainty - but...

    Most likely, as you age, your age preferences will age with you, or expand to go along with your age. At 40, you may very well appreciate the sight of a hot 20yr old jogging by wearing nothing but nylon shorts, shoes, and a music player - but you'll also appreciate (quite probably more so) the sight of a 35-40yrs old jogger dressed the same way but with the more seasoned body that goes with being a full on adult man. The 20yr old may be pretty but may also seem rather unformed and with concerns and issues that you find a hard time getting excited about since to you the solutions are either obvious or have been a done deal for so long that you struggle to understand why that issue should be of any concern to them in the first place.

    At this early stage, I really wouldn't bother worrying about it. You're most likely going to be fine.

    Todd
     
  3. neari

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2014
    Messages:
    8
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK Yorkshire
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Sounds like you fancy guys around your age.

    kinda normal :slight_smile:

    and oddly enough oneday you will fall for someone older probably. everyone has a type
     
  4. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Drew, I think a lot of gay people often feel the same way. There are a lot of really "broken" people out there and gay people on the whole tend to have more issues than their straight counterparts because of all of the homophobia imposed by society, media, and organized religion. And it's the less well adjusted ones that tend to be the most visible, or out at the bathhouses, clubs and bars.

    But the good news is that there areplent of happy and well adjusted guys as well. It's just that... they tend to be less obvious, to not spend time at clubs and bars and so forth. So you have to look for them in other places. One of the best ways -- and it takes time-- is to begin to develop a network of gay friends. Finding social activities like gay-centered book clubs, hiking groups, game night meet ups, pot luck dinners and the like is a great way to meet people in an environment that isn't a "meat market." While there are plenty off 50 year old creepers who are only interested in 20 year old guys... there are also plenty of healthy people your age that would love to find someone to have a meaningful relationship with. I wouldn't worry... what you are describing sounds pretty normal to me.
     
  5. drewf91

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2013
    Messages:
    29
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    North East U.S
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    A few people
    Thanks everyone, sorry to get back to this post so late. I appreciate that Chip, neari, and Todd. Does make sense can only be patient.