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Am I being selfish?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by willycubed28, Feb 5, 2014.

  1. willycubed28

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    A few weeks ago I shared some bad news about my dad and that it doesn't look good for him concerning his health. He recently just shared to me that he will never become a burden for me, and that if it comes down to it he would kill himself. I told him how that made me feel, and he feels like he is doing the best for me by offing himself. Am I being selfish in this situation? I had a friend tell me that I was and that I shouldn't want to see him suffer. I don't want to see him suffer, but I feel like him killing himself is just not right or fair at all. Any feedback would be helpful
     
  2. Ruby Dragon

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    You say you don't want to see him suffer, and that in itself is commendable. But the fact that you don't want him to take his own life, says that you care about him. It's definitely not selfish :icon_wink
     
  3. SongshiQuan

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    Just be there for him, let him know that you care about him. It's unfortunately his fight. I know that sucks to hear, and I know how it is to feel powerless in situations like this. My mother is fighting a rare cancer and has had a lot of complications with her treatment. There are lots of ups and downs, two steps forward one step back kind of deal. Although she's recovered some since then, I made a thread a couple months ago about how she told me she was tired of fighting and just wanted to let go. I too felt selfish because why would I want her to stay here and suffer? I told her I understood her pain but also reminded her about all the blessings life has brought her and our family. She's doing better for now, it turned out to be a moment of despair. Even though she told me she wanted to give up she was really reaching out for help and I just tried/try to be patient and supportive, listening to her and letting her get her emotions out.

    I don't know you dad's situation but even if it's dire I would just do your best to remind what he loves about life and just be a shoulder for him to lean on. Don't feel guilty, it's definitely hard on one's psyche to deal with a critical illness/health problem in the family. Again, be there for him but don't let yourself get consumed. Take a break every now and then. Just talk with him and if sounds like he is going deeper into despair, talk about a subject he loves or a fond memory the two of you shared. Sorry I can't be more helpful, I feel for you and I wish good fortune upon you and your family.
     
  4. Blondeye

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    Personally I cannot imagine that happening or someone asking me that question. It sounds really difficult. It sounds really really really tough. I'm sorry that that happened. Are you still in the same place with it? I would not want that to happen for him to hurt himself.
     
  5. Argentwing

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    It would be selfish to agree with him. If he truly doesn't want to live anymore, let it be because his body is too far gone for him to enjoy life. I would impress upon him that no inconvenience for you is too great so long as you get to share just a little more time with him.