we've known each other for a few years, meeting through mutual friends. through general conversation, we actually had a lot in common, and later realized that our friends intentionally introduced us because we're so similar [on a side note: heavy in to astrology, we're both the same signs, so our views on most are similar if not the exact same...doesn't work in all cases, but with him and i it is], so it made sense. we slowly warmed up to each other [back to astrology], i was also out of town for school, so there was no consistency to our, at the time, mutual acquaintance. an early departure [eh] from school, and i found myself back home. we hung out at a party once, and had realized we had a ton in common, ranging from sports, music, and of course, a liking to cannabis. we exchanged #'s, and agreed to hangout. i was out too, so the thought of having a best friend who's straight was exotic to me [i'd grown tired of having nothing but females as close friends while in college - the conversations became too mundane and focused much on their relationship issues], an he seemed to not mind my sexuality...later i realized he didn't know i was gay, and found out through one of our friends...but we still hung out and he has no issues with it. over time, our friendship has blossomed and i can honestly say that our friendship was built organically and not forced through jobs or school. we have a group of friends, but we always seem to find just the two of us hanging with each other...usually at his place...we'll smoke and wax poetic about whatever. i've been in a situation similar to this, but was much younger and unsure of myself and my sexuality [i lost a good friend...we've hatched things over now, but it's taken a while for him, or maybe both of us to embrace what happend. no, nothing sexual, but i confessed my feelings to him, and that shook him up so much it ruined our friendship]. i digress. he has a gf, they've been dating since '12. i have a bf, we've been dating since august of '13. he "loves" her. i'm quite smitten [understatement. i got love for him, but i'm not in love with him] with my bf too, but i'm still consumed with these thoughts..."what if my friend feels the same way?" "should i approach this" "am i too obvious and he knows and he's playing me? or is he that oblivious?" ironically, my bf worked with my friend and they would hangout from time to time, so my situation's mighty sticky. often times, i find myself hanging out with him more than my actual bf, and vice versa to him...well his gf's in college, but he didn't seem too distraught when she left. our friends'll joke around: "geez, who's the top, who's the bottom?" hell, i don't know good question! im not sure if this is genuine or an infatuation...i find myself emotionally distant from my bf at times because i've invested so much in getting to know this my friend before, but only with the intention of becoming best friends, yet it has come to this. i'm slow when it comes to relationships...it takes a while for me to know if i am in love with someone, and my friend is the same way, as he recently just gave into the thought that he may love his gf. how we connect and communicate is on another level compared to our other friends. we've gotten so close i can usually tell what's on his mind, if he's upset, and his vague and subtle hints that he feels the same way gives me more reason to buy into this; [sometimes not so vague, letting me know when he has boners, or something else explicit] it's a very intimate relationship, minus the actual intimacy; slight hand holds if we hand each other something, intense eye contact, sitting close to each other on bus or car rides...he even said the one thing that let me know something could happen was when he said "i've never told this to anyone." anyone. i melted inside. i really like my bf, and hate that im putting myself through this...what makes it worse is that i feel my bf knows. my current logic is, "well, maybe if i give him a bj, that should clear all this up" while using the "head doesn't have a face" as an excuse, and then there's the "i'll wait for him to come around" wishful thinking logic. im leaning towards the latter, with hopes that we could hash this out.
first of all you should be fair to your current bf. how can u even consider giving this guy a bj while being in a relationship. you re not in love with your bf, if you could get you friend u'd dump him right away. go for it, tell your friend how u feel, but do it the right way.
