Hello, This is one of those rare occasions where I stumble here, seeking advice. Anyways, to the point at hand... I used to be a very emotional individual. Each mistake tore me to pieces and it would take my heart weeks to recover when I was hurt, even if it was done so unintentionally. For quite a while, I entered a period of emotional indifference-- I attended school, laughed with my co-workers and peers, and preformed my duties thoughtfully. During this time, I managed to forgive a series of events that my brother, my mother and my friends are all incapable of forgetting. These two things tell me that I was once very emotional and moody, but that I possessed an ability to accept mishaps while other people could not. Recently, after a long sabbatical from love, I found a new boyfriend. Straight to the point: my emotions are just as fragile as they were 4 years ago. He says things that hurt me (which is OK-- I recognize this happens in every relationship), sometimes without even knowing, and yet it takes me days to recover. Much to my everlasting dismay, my talent for "forgiving and forgetting" has not balanced my emotional fragility. The first part of solving a problem is to understand one exists. I seem to have begun walking the path of solving this but I am uncertain what steps to take from here. Any suggestions? How can I emotionally remove myself? How can I numb my emotions? All advice relating to this would be welcomed.
You may read elsewhere here that all emotions work on the same on-off switch. For example people going through a denial phase and shutting down their ability to feel attraction/crushes would also have difficulty feeling extreme joy or sadness. Numb one emotion you numb them all. You may also read many testimonials that after coming out and accepting said attraction and feelings, many people go through what they think is a volatile or extreme emotional period, because things they had shut down and put away are finally allowed to come out and be experienced. Not sure there's any easy answer... others may have suggestions, some counselling may also help, if that's something that's available to you and you're open to it... my personal understanding at this point is that if one wants to allow themselves to feel love, they need to accept they will also feel the other emotions as well. Keeping it all in balance is the challenge I suppose, and for that I don't have an answer yet.
Such a good post!! I'm currently going thru the intensity of knowing I have met the 3rd girl whom I love and I love her so intensely, whereas she is still partly closeted to herself and is dating a guy... I know she feels this too but she is just switching off her emotions out of fear
