This is more of a rant than anything else. I'm becoming increasingly annoyed by straight men disbelieving me when I tell them I am gay and not interested. I'm even more bothered by those who are unaware and therefore giving me looks, whistling at me, trying it on and generally making me feel uncomfortable. I would absolutely love it if people could determine my sexuality just simply by looking at me. However, I enjoy wearing makeup and generally looking quite 'girly', and therefore can't think of any solution (much less obvious than wearing an 'I am gay' sign above my head) to look more gay.. Not that the feeling of loving women can be summarised as a simple wardrobe change. *sigh* Any other 'lipstick lesbians' out there who know how I feel? I'm seriously considering shaving half my hair off (which I actually think would look quite good)... Please note.. This isn't a case of me feeling uncomfortable in my skin, it's more of a matter that I'm uncomfortable with men's reactions to me. In addition, I am still fairly 'new' to the experience of being out as I only told my parents about 6 months ago. Therefore, I think I am still trying to find myself.
I know the feeling, I'm very feminine and it feels like everyone is assuming I'm straight. I also get comments like "Well, if you change your mind you can call me later..." by guys if go out efter telling them I'm into girls. So yeah, I'm not really being taken seriously all the time either. And I get what you mean by you want people to tell but don't want to change. I've been wondering about how to do that too...
I completely understand that! I, however, would never shave my hair off. I'm just going to keep flaunting my girly side and leave the men to their own devices.
I know how you feel one of my friends who is bisexual can't believe I'm a lesbian because I'm too girly she is the only person that knows at my job and one of my other female friends that's straight said I don't look like a lesbian . The straight men around me don't know I'm lesbian but I can't stand them hitting on me there are few guys that hit on me and I wish they would leave me alone I only want that from women one of my coworkers get upset at me because I don't act all excited when he hits on me , even pulled my armed and got mad at me because I wasn't acting all serious about it and keeps telling me something along the lines like " this isn't a game I'm playing here I really mean it when I say I liked you " it creeps me out .
I can't imagine. I'm not even that feminine and I had a guy friend try to kiss me once; and then i had a friend who was in love with me say that he was gonna hold out hope that i would come around someday... the world would be a better place if everyone just respected boundaries. Anyways that's just the product of being a female body traveling through the world, where men are offended when you don't respond to catcalls etc. It's not going to go away no matter how gay or straight they think you are. I think it's slowly changing and if you're willing to let coworkers and friends know how their behavior is affecting you, you can start changing things a bit. Getting more attention from women is a little easier than getting all men to leave you alone forever. The partly shaved head looks beautiful and can still be really feminine. Painting your ring finger nail a different color than the other ones. Keeping nails short (even if painted). Wearing a rainbow bracelet or a subtle rainbow pendant also works. Though none of these things by themselves guarantee anything, they increase your visibility somewhat. I have even painted a little triangle on one of my fingers, which looks pretty gay. There are tons of posts online about femme visibility. Also a lot about how angry both straight and gay women are about the advances of men. Hope this helps!
If I were you I would just flat-out ignore them. There's really so much you can do when they don't want to respect that you're a lesbian and that you're not romantically interested because at the end of the day these people don't care about your feelings they are more concerned with their own. I personally would rather not waste my energy saying "no" a million times and having too many unwanted advances from people who seem to not think that you have the right to pick your romantic suitors and voice your opinion. If you want to be a bit more direct, you can even tell them exactly how unappealing doing any thing beyond friendship with them would be. But I think that some times the "no is yes" crowd just wants to stir a response from you even if it's anger. So, don't let them get to you, I'd just flat out ignore them. If I were you I would wear a rainbow bracelet. It's pretty simply and doesn't totally alter your physical appearance but it is definitely a signal.
I've been out for several years now, and it doesn't really change much. Many people think it was just a phase and that I'm actually straight. I'm pretty girly and don't fit the stereotype for the typical lesbian. I've been asked out by several guys but most people don't realize I'm gay and it's kinda awkward to go through the whole I'm gay thing every time you meet someone.
I have the same issue but I have just had to ignore them. If you really need an idea my friends wear LGBT bracelets and stuff so that may help
When I have told people I'm gay they say they no idea but I wound to say I'm that girly I am a little bit but not too much I agree with post above wear your LGBT bracelet that should help x
I find that it's better not to tell random guys that you're a lesbian. Some men don't take female homosexuality seriously and it will only fuel their interest.
