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How to find curage to start flirting with other lesbians?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by sandshoes, Feb 11, 2014.

  1. sandshoes

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    Hello everyone!

    I broke up with my ex (boyfriend) a while ago and now I feel like it would be nice to start flirting with other girls. Not really looking for a new relationship yet but it would be good to start getting some lesbian friends/flirts/one night stands/experience etc.

    Problem is that I've only been with guys since I didn't figure out my sexuality until recently. Soooo... I'm really nervous. I'm okay with talking to both girls and guys, but when it comes to flirting with women... I get terrified. I guess it's because I'm not good at reading peoples sexuality, and it's even harder because I'm mostly attracted to very feminine girls. And it feels like all lesbians are super confident with their sexuality etc (I know that's not true, but I feel like such a newbie anyways) so it kind of intimidates me.

    Any advice for someone who's quite new to all this?
     
  2. sandshoes

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  3. stocking

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    I've got the same problem but I'm scared to flirt with other women because I might make them scared of me .
     
  4. Fallingdown7

    Fallingdown7 Guest

    It definitely depends on the person you flirt with and how you choose to flirt since everyone has different reactions based on how you do it. If you're already good with talking to girls, you can always start off with a platonic conversation. Dropping casual questions can give you hints on her sexuality and what she's looking for in a girl before you start flirting with her further.

    Direct flirting can make things faster, but it can also be a bit risky since It's hard to read someone's sexuality. Hell, I'm a lesbian myself and I really hate it when girls try to come on to me a lot of the time because I find it creepy and offputting. So that's why I think going a bit slower can help before you start flirting with them because then it gives you more time to read their personality type, their reactions, and their sexuality.
     
  5. sandshoes

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    Thanks for the advice so far!

    I wasn't exactly thinking of coming on to anyone right away. I'm quite good at talking to people in general, but I guess it's taking the first step of starting a conversation with someone new I find attractive that scares me. For example: I've been thinking of going to a lgbtq club some weekend with a friend, and I'm afraid that I will be too scared to talk to anyone new. In Sweden we tend to keep to ourselves and our friends much and even if people get a lot more chatty when drinking I'm still thinking that girls would think that I was coming on to them just by going over and starting to talk to them... I'm probably overthinking this and it feels like I'm not explaining myself as good as I'd like to, but maybe you get what I'm on about?

    I guess I'm just afraid that I would make a fool of myself... I think I need to learn to relax and not overthink things.