I was thinking, if I got this so called anxiety disorder. Its because I can't control myself from worrying about what others would think about me. Specially, when it regards to my sexuality. I always have this thought in my mind "what?! they know I'm gay?!" "What if they really know I'm gay?" "How did they know I was gay?" I always feel anxious whenever I go to school, the mall and other public places where there are lots of people who I frequently catch staring at me. I feel weird, uncomfortable and other feelings that I can't describe that just makes me feel down and very lonely deep inside. My problem is, I can't stop worrying so much and I hate this feeling. I feel as though my life has no privacy. I keep on worrying a lot and it sometimes affects how I perform in school and my concentration. I just need someone to talk to about this matter. My parents don't seem to be open on these kinds of topics, even though my mom knows that I'm openly gay towards her.
In the area where I live, it may not be safe or maybe safe. Cause people here in my community aren't really that open minded about LGBT issues. In my school, I just worry a lot about the people who really know me well and might turn their backs on me if they knew I'm gay...
Perhaps try to use logic. HOW could they know? Do you do something that could indicate you like boys? Try to imagine your schoolmate behaving like you are. Would you suspect something?
I don't really show signs that I like a guy. I'm not really an effeminate type of gay guy, but only my bestfriend knows if I'm starting to like a guy.
It's not an anxiety disorder. It's a normal response to knowing you're gay but not yet out to anyone. Anyone who is going through the process of coming out and accepting him or herself experiences something similar. The best suggestion I can make is to talk to your mom and your best friend and tell them how you're feeling and ask for their help and support. I can't speak to the cultural acceptance of gay people in the Phillipines, but I know people there who are gay and out, so at least in some areas, it's safe and acceptable to be gay. Hope that helps!
there are no true obsessions or compulsions hence it could not be OCD. OP. GAD is probably not what you have based on the info you've given here and even so it doesn't sound like GAD. It sounds very much like some anxiety based around sexuality or coming out. Now this doesn't mean I am downplaying your symptoms or telling you to just 'get over it.' More so I wanted to start by saying don't worry about conditions like OCD or GAD. As always I am a major proponent of talking to a therapist about the subject. If something is affecting your life negatively and it isn't just a simple so-called 'fix' then a professional would be of help. Do you imagine your parents would be willing to help you find someone?
