What would you say is the hardest emotional time of your day to deal with and why? For me, it’s the evening hours at home before I force myself to sleep. The evening hours is where I would come home and wash the struggles of the world off of me. Where I would be able to relax and spend quality time with people I care about. It wouldn’t matter what we did or didn’t do, it was still quality time with someone I cared about and the outside world was gone for the rest of the day. I don’t have that. Even washing the world off is not enough to be okay. It’s still a huge painful struggle for me emotionally. Without having someone to come home to and enjoy time with, there is no quality to my day or life if feels like. That’s mine, what’s yours?
The evening as well. During the day, I keep occupied with work, my writing and what passes for my social life. At night though, the emptiness and loneliness of my home just creeps up on me. I sit there, absentmindedly petting my cat, just listening to the quiet. That's when the depression and negative thoughts come flooding in...and now that I'm alone and relaxed with nothing to do, I have no choice but to allow those thoughts entry. .....definitely the hardest time of the day for me as well.
For me, it's not exactly the time of day that's difficult (although it would be almost any time the sun is up lol). It's when I am forced to not be myself. Being in the early stages of transition and (probably) not being able to pass sometimes I feel the urge/have to stop being myself and hide behind that facade of malehood. Then I have moments when my self image is shattered when my attention is draw to the things about myself that are definately male. Those are both pretty bad.
For me it's when I first get into bed. It seems most nights lately I'm awake for hours with my thoughts just staring at the ceiling.
definitely late evenings. all day is rushing around trying to get enough done to not be under siege the next day at work. all afternoon is busy with kids activities, and dinner and getting them off to bed. then I finally get a chance to stop, catch up on ec, writing or whatever, and then I try to go to bed and the brain is either racing with thoughts about the uncertain future of my closet, or feeling so lost and alone in a house full of people I love, wondering how did I let things get this far out of control?!
It usually depends on my schedule. I would say it's mostly mornings there's so much always going on and right now I have so many people depending on me, it's pretty stressful especially since I don't want to let anyone down.
I find that I'm generally content during the day and then when it's near time to go to bed, I start overthinking things and don't end up sleeping well as I'm more often than not consumed by my thoughts.
Whenever my whole family is in a room together. All it takes is one stray comment, and everyone's on eachother like a pack of dogs...
Nighttime for sure - i stay up and keep myself busy cause i know if im in bed or whatever, ill be stuck with my thoughts.
