I cant help but notice lately that my emotions have been kinda all over the place. A month and a bit ago, before i accepted myself and started coming out, i wasn't much of an emotional person - like i didn't really care about anything, and if i did i kept it close to my chest. But now, my moods are so much more intense - the good and the bad ones. I heard in the news a few days ago about a little boy that died (sorry to be morbid) and it just affected me so much - i couldn't stop thinking about it and tearing up. Other times i feel really happy and excited, and confident/motivated as well. Or like i have butterflies in my stomach. But then this morning i feel really panicked about going back to uni. I just feel everything more strongly, and little things affect me a lot more - its stealing all my energy. Did any of you feel this way at first?
Yep. I'm typically more on the analytical side than the emotive side, but once I came out to myself I started getting a lot more emotionally reactive. I will occasionally shed a few tears at movies, but I would watch things that would hit some emotional button and I would just be uncontrollably bawling. I guess it's just a byproduct of dealing with something that's been a long time repressed maybe? Anyway, that was almost 4 months ago. Since I've started elbowing my way out of the closet (about 3 weeks ago now?) the wild mood swings have died down considerably and I'm feeling a bit more back to normal, and I have a bit more control over things (like I can feel myself start to go on a depressive spiral and can actually nip it in the bud). Overall, though, I'm a bit less emotionally flat than I was before, which is a bit of a bonus actually. Not sure if that's the norm, but it's how it has gone for me so far.
It's a shame you're getting hit harder by negative emotions, but I think you're much better off now than you were before if it felt like you "didn't really care about anything." I haven't come out so I can't relate too much, but since I first started really thinking of myself as gay over the past two months I've definitely been more emotional. Not that I've been in tears all the time or anything like that, but for quite awhile before that I think I was just kind of settled into a routine too much and just going through the emotions. For better or for worse it seems like I'm doing a lot more deep thinking right now.
Well, I sometimes happen to get this moments in my life (for example last month), when i start being really emotional. Then I actually feel everything more strongly and intense. However, I don't think that it's conected with my sexuality or particular events. More like i am a weirdo. Maybe you are more sentimental and energetic, cause you feel more accepted with yourself, after you came out. It might be good for you to act this way, then. There is a chance that you just need to get all the struggle of staying in the closet of your chest and that is the reason why you behave that way. Are you happy to feel that way? I actually like to heve this kind of mood. Good dose of some strong emotions, like sadness for example, always cheers me up afterwards. But yeah, i am a weirdo.
Its not that i dont enjoy it - the good with the bad - but it just wears me out. I wasnt really conscious before of how flat i was so its kind if a shock for me. I kinda feel more feminine if you know what i mean - like i just wanna hug people lol.
Oh I get overwhelmed all the time. Little things do affect me not necessarily in an emotional way in an angry way. Sometimes the slightest things set me off and I just explode. :bang: I try not to live that way I try to calm my nerves. And with butterflies I get those everyday before I go to school. Also my heart will start racing & even sometimes stress sweat. That's y I always bring dioderent and cologne.
Before I came out... I had no emotion really... I would hide them, subdue them... anything to not show them, because Public forbid any male show emotion lol. When I first came out, before HRT started I would get emotional (now with HRT it's like a daily thing lol)... But I see it as... now that we are out, our true selves no longer need to hide, and since we're open, so are our emotions
Wow, sounds like I'm a bit more normal than I thought I was. I finally admitted who I am just a little while ago, and yeah I've been pretty emotional about it. All those years repressing yourself because of social influence is what really wears you out. I spent years feeling almost nothing because I had shut myself down in an attempt to stop the pain. What I didn't realize was as you put "just how flat I was". Yes, it may be a bit draining at times, but now I feel as if I'm actually alive instead of just existing. I'll take this over going back to before any day of the week.
