I'm a 22 year old Female and I have just made my first appointment with a therapist. I've looked into it many times, but always backed out after becoming overwhelmed with the details. I did my homework, though, and I think I found someone who has experience with lgbt patients and treating anxiety. I haven't told my parents about it, although I have our insurance card so I was able to figure things out. I'd like to ask, for those of you who've been in therapy, how you felt talking to a stranger about your feelings? Did you know exactly what you wanted to say? Did you feel you could trust them? Did you feel like you even knew what you wanted to say at all? Did they steer you in one direction, or did they help you along the way? Do you think your life improved after therapy? I am "bisexual" in a hetero relationship but lately I've been questioning my interest in males. I am also at a very stressful point in my life in which I need to figure out what direction I'm taking. I'm really nervous about sharing my feelings out loud because I internalize all of my emotions (I'm an INFP, for you MBTI people out there). Can you guys share some of your experience in therapy?
I've been in therapy since I was pretty young because of issues with an anxiety disorder and clinical depression. I don't know if its because I've had the same therapist my whole life or whatever, but I always feel extremely comfortable talking to my therapist about almost anything (and I'm also a sort who tends to internalize and doesn't really show feelings much). They become less of a stranger over time. I've definitely benefited from the therapy, its helped my anxiety and depression a lot. As far as I know, therapists are like doctors and cannot legally disclose your information without your permission, although I can't say if that's true where you are or not.... Finding the RIGHT therapist is important. I've heard stories of people who wind up with therapists who are mean or don't make people feel safe or try to influence their life's decisions. If you don't feel comfortable with the therapist you start off with, find someone else. Its really really important that you feel you can trust your therapist and that you feel they listen and are respectful of you even if you aren't sure exactly what to say. Like any interpersonal relationship it may be hit and miss for a while. You might have to try different therapists. But if you can find a good one that you can work with therapy can be a great benefit!
Hey, I haven't seen a therapist about my transgenderism yet although I have plans to do so soon (as in the next few days). Perhaps I can't give you exactly what to expect or anything, but I can give you how I feel and maybe that will make you feel better. I'm also an INFP type most of the time(which as I'm sure you know, MBTI typology can fluctuate from day to day). I often internalize all my feelings and am nervous around people as well, but there are a few things I find help me with the anxiety of meeting new people. For starters, it helps not to tackle the big issues head on. Little things like chit chat, jokes, games, or just observing people for a while before hand helps me to loosen up a bit. A lot of people have various degrees of anxiety, and that's normal, but us INFP have it a little worse. We do have something in our favor though. Our instincts. As an INFP you are likely very good at making quick and accurate judgments about people correct? Use it. If you can tell that a person is trustworthy just by your instincts then you will naturally feel more at ease speaking to them. I also know that we INFPs have a tendency to let people steer the conversation, so sometimes an alternative approach may work. If you can film yourself on, say a laptop, then you can give the recordings to the therapist for them to review. This allows you to be open and honest in a non threatening way that also let's you explore the topics you wish to discuss at your own pace. It's almost like allowing someone into your head without them being able to influence it. As to how you feel talking to strangers about your feelings, let me ask you this: How do you feel right now? because that's what we're doing. See? It's not too horrible is it? Sure, maybe a little intimidating, but it can be even worse when you talk to someone you actually know because you care about what they think of you and you want to censor yourself. Like I said, I know I haven't been through this yet, but I think you'll know what I mean by these things and they will help you feel a little better about all this. I hope that I'm correct and this helps
I've been through several therapists and been on a lot of medication throughout the years, because I have more than just anxiety issues. I suffer from full-blown PTSD from an abusive childhood made worse when my parents accidentally found out I'm gay. It's important to find someone you trust, and to start with discussing small issues first. If you can eventually feel comfortable (instead of patronized, as I was by a few therapists), then you can move onto other issues. You'll also want a therapist who doesn't just slap a prescription in your hand and send you on your way. You'll want a therapist who will give you other coping methods as well. It's critical to find multiple ways to deal with your anxiety in case one doesn't work. And it's okay to like the same sex, or both sexes, or neither sex.
A good therapist will help to make you comfortable. You aren't expected to go in and dump everything in the first session, or even in the first three months. The key to good therapy is empathy, a sense of deep connection and understanding, and in order for empathy to develop, the other party has to earn the right to hear your story. And that comes with time, and little pieces that make the relationship feel trustworthy. So you can go in and talk about whatever. Start with small things, directly address that it tkaes you a while to trust. The therapist won't be offended. The one piece that is important is that you try to be as honest as you possibly can in every interaction. It's better to say "I'm not ready to talk about that" than to say something untrue, and your therapist, if s/he is good, will have no problem leaving whatever it is you're uncomfortable with for a later time. Let us know how the first session goes. I think you'll be surprised by how easy it can be if you feel like you have (or can develop) a connection with this therapist.
