I really dont know who to turn to about all thats been going on.. But I will start telling the story.. I came out of the closet over a year ago.. Some were surprised and some werent.. So after that I am more open to dating women.. I was using a dating site online and just happen to find one of the most amazing woman I have ever come across.. She was young but had her life together to the T.. Just a very real and genuine person.. It was no doubt that we fell in love quickly.. Everything has been perfect just really really in love.. 5 months into our relationship I was laying in bed one night with her and had a full blown panic attack.. I wanted to break up with her, I didnt want her to be there, my attack was just telling me she needed to be gone.. But pushing through all that I know I needed someone with me so I asked her to stay.. It was the scariest thing I had ever felt.. Its been about a month after that night.. I still frequently get the attacks but they are more manageable. I was put on some meds and went to acupuncture and was doing what I needed to do.. She spent the weekend with me not too long ago and the morning she left my heart was pounding and something didnt feel right.. It was like I was detached from her..Which was upsetting because I love her.. I told her everything and she was upset to hear that we might have to end things in order for me to be okay again.. But I dont want that to happen.. She is the love of my life, I just get these bad nervous feelings around her now and dont know why.. Some days are better than others but there is not a day that goes by that I dont feel completely myself .. PLEASE I need someones advice that I am okay.. And what we can do as a couple to keep our relationship..
I just came out to my friend last month. I can tell you for me talking to a third party even a few weeks helped. I still haven't told family or my other friends but it's baby steps. It sounds like you both are in love. I would talk with a therapist or an unbiased person. You need to get something off your chest.