I'm not sure whether this site is even the right place to post this thread but I am in need of writing about my frustrations and that usually helps when I'm feeling down about my sexuality so I'll give it a go. I really need to save my money for a trip I am going on later this year however for some reason, whenever I am in need of saving money, I tend to waste more money because my gambling addiction gets worse. I think my brain sees gambling as a "quick fix", to earn the money quickly without effort. The funny thing is, when I win some money, I then proceed to gamble even more because I'm never happy with how much I've won. Then I will inevitably lose everything I've won, and keep gambling to try and claim my winnings back. I gamble on several sports, online roulette, online slots, lottery, even online bingo. I will gamble on anything to try and win money. And it always has the same result of me losing huge sums of money. I have gone long periods of time without gambling, but always end up doing it again. I have a very addictive personality. Usually I fall to my addictions when I've consumed alcohol, but gambling is different, I'm still prone to fall into this addiction when I'm sober, which means it is even more dangerous. Over the last month I have now spent over £3,000 gambling. I have told a couple of friends, who call me an idiot and ask how I could do it. That doesn't seem to put me off though. I know it's wrong, and I know I'm an idiot, I just can't stop doing it. I have banned myself from all of the online gambling sites I know of, but when I want to gamble, I can always find a new website. Anyways, I just felt the need to rant. Any advice from anyone who's had a similar problem would be welcome .
Addiction of any kind requires personal willpower and usually some sort of assistance from a therapist or something. To quit cold turkey is very very difficult. I had to do that with MMOs when I went back to school. That sucked. I don't say this lightly. I was literally addicted to video games, specifically the massively multiplayer RPG ones. Is it the act of the gambling, or is it the use of money or is it the risk and loss potential that addicts you? That's a question you need to address. If it's the use of money, just buy things that you need... Or at least want. Possessions don't disappear like gambling debt. If it's risky behavior you like then talk to someone in counseling. I know in the US they have gambling hotlines and I'd like to think in the UK they do too. And I'm maybe fortunate. I always loose at gambling and get frustrated when I lose 5$ at the poker machine...
Hey, thanks for the reply. I get a buzz from gambling. I love the feeling when I win. And I love to have money. Although my main problem tends to be when I don't win. I'm really competitive and hate to lose, so when I keep losing money, I instinctively keep betting to try and win back my lost money, and that's when I lose huge amounts of money. I need to clear my brain and just start fresh, because all the money I have lost keeps playing on my mind. I've tried calling gambling hotlines a couple of times but didn't find them very helpful. I've also tried a gambling website and although I agreed with a lot of the points on there, that still didn't help. There are sessions run here but none are really close to where I live and I wouldn't have time to attend them due to work commitments. Haha if I lose £5 I will then put £10 on to win it back, then keep going in that same pattern.
Hello Closet88, Well done for admitting this. Now it's time to change your life (if you want to). You don't end addiction by stop gambling, you end it by making it easier not to gamble. 'Child' Method I recommend de-activating your gambling accounts and installing a free parental control...no seriously, a parental control. You're going to treat yourself like a child. I don't know what computer or browser you use but WebFilter Pro add-on works wonders on Google Chrome. You can find it on the Google App Store. It's free. Once you install a Parental Control of your choice; set a password. Make it a random 12 digit password (you won't remember it). Write that password on a piece of paper and bury that paper. Make it so it would take you roughly 30 mins to retrieve that paper. While you're craving gambling and digging for that paper (this is called physical relapse) you have to ask yourself: "is spending 30 mins of my life to break recovery worth it?" Also install an Ad Blocker. So you don't get those "FREE BET" ads that will trigger you. You can also install a free parental control on your phone and mobile devices and use the same 12-digit password. -- Now you're probably thinking you are smart; you'll just go to the shop to gamble. Every gambling shop has a Self-Exclusion procedure. Once you fill those in, as soon as you attempt to gamble they will politely tell you to leave the premises. It should take about 10 mins to complete 1 of them. Now What? You need to think about the high-risk situations that triggers you off to go and gamble. This is so you can avoid them. Inevitably you'll get feelings that will be leading up to a trigger. This is called emotional relapse. They hold the key as to whether you can fully recover or not. You need to notice when you're having an emotional relapse so you can change your behaviour and get out of that situation. Distract yourself. Go get some fresh air, watch a film, do some push-ups etc. It's easier to fight the urge during emotional relapse. Once you hit physical relapse (eg. signing into a gambling account) it's usually game over, you blew it, the urge is too much from there. This is why I addressed it first by suggesting a parental control. It gives you a fighting chance in physical relapse. Talk to someone close about it too. Tell them you're trying to recover. As each day goes on be proud, you're winning. Try and gain a lengthy periods without gambling at all. You said you love the feeling when you win. This is a game against yourself. The new you vs the old you. Being a loser in this game is too easy. Good luck.
Gambling is okay, but addictions are not. I agree with the others about it being hard to quit an addiction though. KFHarry has the best advice, so please listen to him. I like to gamble too, although I usually just play scratch off tickets. What I do when I want to gamble is estimate how much money I can afford to lose. If I win anything- even $1-2, I usually just take the money and leave for next time because the odds aren't going to be very high in general to win again. I hope you get help with your addiction. Sometimes I find it hard to stop myself from gambling, but it can be a serious problem if you do it too much that you find yourself in debt.
Shame never works to get addicts to stop their addictive behavior. So while your friendds "How could you be a stupid idiot" might be their own expression of frustration, it's not only not helpful to you, it is actively harmful, because, in part, the shame drives the addiction and makes you want to gamble more. So talking about it here is a huge step toward helping. In addition to the excellent suggestions from KFHarry, I'd suggest starting a process of conscious awareness. Spend an hour, write down the times, circumstances, feelings where you feel the urge to gamble arising. Identify the specific triggers that seem to make the urges come about. Then, you can can do two things: set about developing strategies to minimize having those triggers happen in your life, and also set up procedures to go through when you first see any of those triggers or feelings come up (preferably before the urge to gamble becomes strong. Another help is to establish both internal and external accountability for your gambling. The internal step could be something like, when you feel the desire developing, to write in a journal, or to look at something you've previously written about why you don't want to gamble, or why saving the money is important or something like that. The external step could be having an accountability friend (preferably more than one) that you can call when you feel the urge developing who will encourage you and help you and listen (without shaming you.) I think you'll find that there's an underlying emotional drop or depression or something that's happening, and if you can get support and empathy at those moments, it may be easier to stop the negative behavior. Also, there's Gamblers Anonymous, which has been really helpful to many people. You might check out one of their meetings.
Thanks for your responses guys. @KFHarry - Wow, you sound like an expert! Thanks for your advice. I use a MacBook, so I have Safari. I'm sure I should be able to find a parental control system on here though. I really liked your idea that this is a game of old me vs new me. Things like that help me, as I can't help wanting to win at everything, no matter how small haha. @Fallingdown7 - I also get addicted to scratch cards. If I ever win money on them (which is rare) I will always just get more scratch cards with my winnings. I always have a feeling that I'm gonna win big. I think that's my problem haha. @Chip - Thanks (as always) for your advice. I like the idea of writing things down. Last night I logged into my online banking account and looked at the transactions I've made putting money into online gambling accounts. It made me feel sick and so disappointed in myself. I've started exercising recently, with a bit of luck I'll get addicted to that haha.
If you're going to transfer an addiction to something, exercise is probably one of the best things you can transfer it to The important thing is to try and love yourself and recognize this as something that isn't just you making dumb decisions; it has a biochemical basis. Over time, and with reinforcement of new and healthier behaviors, you'll change the biochemistry. And in the meantime, the suggestions I made are things that help repattern the biochemical pathways.
Yeah I would love to get an exercise addiction haha. I'm a very impatient person which is why I usually tend to fall back into bad habits. Although I've been a lot better with that so far this year, other than the gambling.
As chip said, any addiction is based on various biochemical pathways that are essentially dopamine neurotransmitters firing off pleasure signals to your brain as a reward for activities. Anything can cause this once your brain is accustomed to it. It does take time to rewire your brain. Exercise always works for me even though I hate it. Why? Your brain naturally releases endorphins after vigorous exercise. You ever experienced that "runners high"? That's a real thing and is similar. Now I can't beat KFHarry's advice but there are other methods and coping strategies. And like fighting depression, lack of focus, or inability to sleep for various examples, exercise can help all of them.
