should I give up on being gay?

You are in a tough bind. I see you having three options. One is to keep it a secret forever. Second is to move to another country as soon as you can. The third option takes a certain type of person who is an advocate who does the hard work in the early years, putting their life as risk every day.

It is a terrible situation and I am sad to see your country taking this move.

 

Freedom to be yourself is always worth fighting for.
However I am not telling you to fight a country, especially on your own.

You asked what would I do in your situation; I would move out of that country. It is easy to say it but to do it takes a lot of hard work. Planning and focus. You'll miss your family (this doesn't mean you won't ever talk to them). You'll experience a lot of rough times. Life would beat you up, literally, but it is worth it if it takes you a step closer to living the person you are.

Better to live 1 year being yourself than 25 years living a lie.

All the best.

 

These were my thoughts as well. I think that if I were in your position I would move out of the country.
If the bill passes you can seek out asylum in many European countries. I'm not sure about the details but I am aware of a gay man from Iran (they have the death penalty on gay people, too) who sought asylum in my country (Greece) and managed to become a citizen. My country is actually pretty fucking homophobic so it shouldn't be your first choice but if it can happen here, it can certainly happen somewhere better, too.

 

I am sorry to hear that Ethiopia is another country that is so anti gay /:.
I'm unsure if you can "just give up being gay". Be careful while in Ethiopia though, I know it must be extremely difficult since all LGBT people are forced to be closeted but you can't necessarily give up on it .

 

First .. well done for recognising your true self.

I agree with the above responses. No easy decisions here. You are in a very difficult position. Many Ethiopians must have to face this one. But keeping your secret a secret (and not being authentic) can lead to sadness and depression further down the line. The good thing is you are young and have some time to think things through. So do not feel you must make a decision immediately.

Also think ahead, Maybe your chosen job, or higher education, can be a way of allowing you to travel and you may want to spend some time in another country anyway for other reasons.

There are pros and cons to be worked out with each scenario. Maybe write them down. And do keep chatting on EC. Lots of supportive people here !! (*hug*)

 

You cant change your sexuality because its just there... If I were you living in a place where they absolutely hate gay people is a tough spot to be. Honestly if I were you is to wait until you're ready to leave the country & then do what lives lead you to do in that country..

 

As far as I'm concerned the only option is to keep this completely to yourself until you can get out of Ethiopia, which you should do at the first moment you're able. It's hard to imagine a more painful situation to be in, but don't risk your life. You're still young and have plenty of time to get out of there and be yourself.

Good luck...

 

Unless you're okay with being a martyr, better keep it under wraps for now. You can hold out hope for moving out of the country when able.

 

You're in a very difficult situation, and I'm sorry to hear that you live in such a horrid place. However, there is hope. Eventually, you might be able to save up enough money and move away. I know that'll take a while and that in the mean time it will likely be hard for you to lie low. Sadly, it seems to be the best option at the time. My heart goes out to you.


To EC: perhaps a petition could be started somewhere to encourage ethiopia to not pass that law? I don't know how effective it would be, but maybe we could gather enough support to at least make them reconsider. What do you think?

 

I would be straight bc Ethiopia jails are growse. And if I was in your shoes i would move to America and never go back to Ethiopia sorry you're in such a nasty nasty situation. Good luck

 

If I were in your shoes, I would plan to move out of the country and go somewhere that lgbt people have less trouble and do not have to fear for their life. Being "straight" is not an option, as you'll be unhappy with yourself and your lack of ability to love who you want. Whether or not you come out to your family ever is your choice.

 

Maybe you could wait till you are not financially dependent on your parents, which looks like really soon, get a good job, and get THE HELL OUT OF THERE. Nothing is worth living a lie for the rest of your life.

 

It depends on how determined you are to be able to be yourself. There are, and will be, plenty of opportunities for you to get out of such a bad environment. Never say never. IF you want to be who you really are and not force yourself to live a lie forever, look for opportunities to move at every possible chance. It may take years, but the chances *are* out there.

Of course in the meantime it's in your best interest to stay "in the closet".... That does *not* mean you have to bend to whatever *they* want you to be. It doesn't mean agreeing with beliefs and doing things that go against who you are. It's entirely possible to live in a closeted situation and just live life, do what you need to do until you can get out. It doesn't mean you have to go the opposite way and be "what your family wants", because that will *not* make you happy.

 

Goose, my friend, I am feeling so uneasy about you and everyone like you.

I am from Kazakhstan, a post-Soviet muslim country. It is not officially illegal to be gay there, but still gay people tend to die young. I have some experience to share with you.

I realized I am gay at the age of 24. Before that, I tried very hard to look at girls, get aroused, and even though it never worked, I tried and tried. I still didn't get anywhere. I think I am going to come out eventually, but I am sort of not afraid of dying. It could be a relief even.

Unless your gayness also extends to your gender identity, you should learn to be a man. Try to join some militia, or any place where you will get physical training. Attend martial arts classes. Talk to women. In Ethiopia, it should be easy for you to get married without loving a woman. I still hope I can marry a woman someday.

And since you know English, you should try to find a way to emigrate. That would be the safest option for you.

I hope you are doing fine. Stay well and safe.

 

Maybe it looks like you will never be able to leave your country but if you save enough money and work really hard you could move to another country. Maybe your parents are not wealthy and maybe you will never be wealthy either but with enough effort you could save enough right? My country ( the Netherlands) takes in a lot of foreign people ( even though a lot of the dutch people here don't like them very much they still have a better life then they would ever had in their original country). Make it your goal to leave your country, it doesn't matter how long it will take because freedom is something to fight for! As for now, I would keep your sexuality to yourself! I have seen some documentaries about gay people in gay hating countries and you don't want that! Just act like you like girls but you don't have to date one right? And then once you can leave your country I would tell your family because then they can't do anything anymore. Not all countries are as hard to go to as the USA btw hahaha.