Feeling ashamed of my body as a gay guy

I don't like my body either. Too hairy and about 20 lbs too heavy. I'm always worried that guys won't want to date me or hook up with me because I'm not a smooth twink. Especially because the kinds of guys I'm drawn to are more of the slim, smooth type.

 

While it is true that many gay guys enjoy the physical form of the type of man you described, it is also true that many guys get turned on by body hair. What you have to remember is that gay guys are people, and people are diverse. I've seen guys on various forums talking about what they liked, and guess what. The answers vary wildly.

Something else to consider is that being in a relationship counts for a lot. There are tons of people who feel insecure about there bodies (from the size/shape of their genetalia, to their weight etc.) , but when the time comes to get into bed with their partner, things get so hot that the other person either doesn't notice or doesn't mind.

I recently read a thread where a girl was afraid that her knockout of a partner would think that she was too plain. Know what happened? The knockout was thinking that her partner would think she wasn't pretty enough. (paraphrased) The moral of the story is that everyone gets a bit insecure at times, but it's almost always for naught when it comes to being with someone in a caring relationship.

Don't worry too much about what other guys may or may not like. Go out, find someone you really click with, and enjoy the ride.

 

Lots of gay men are ashamed of their bodies. I know I am, I'm like 40 pounds too heavy (used to be 140 pounds too heavy, so getting closer).

You are your own worst critic, learn to love your body, you'll be much happier.

 

a llot of the pressure on our body image comes from the media in general and especially the porn industry. for myself, the outside appearance of someone is just packaging. what really matters is what is inside, who they are, what are their life experiences, what makes them tick. that is where aong term friendship or relationship is born, not how well defined their abs are, or how muh hair is on the chest or how well endowed they are. we all age and appearances change, what remains is the heart and mind so if you fall on love with that, the packaging just doesn't matter as much.

 

Body hair is no big deal to me. You may be thinking of the greased-up magazine pictures, but in real life, people have body hair, and it's not even worth mention. As stated above, some people actually prefer it, so no worries.

 

Oh don't feel insecure about yourself. Femme boys want a man with a shaved body. Masc like hairy so try dating a masc guy and feel comfortable in your own skin.

 

If I were like several decades younger I would throw myself in your path... I absolutely positively adore pelts on men...

But then understand I am cursed with a perpetual boy's body that just can't manage a half of a quarter of a decent pelt, nearly totally hairless - so sparse, so ugly, so... well unmanly.....

My point, being comfortable with who you are is problematic for most people, regardless if they have hair or not.

Truth is self esteem issues, which you have, don't really come from the body, they come from the mind.

You have this image of what the perfect dude is and unfortunately he does not exist. Understand the media version of 'perfection' is either airbrush or Photoshop.

There was a lot less of this worry back in the 1970's when guys all went 'natural'. Now we have a generation who spent way too much time shaving their body, and hating that which makes men men - body hair....

BTW there are guys who love body hair on men. They are often called bear, or cubs, or otters, or.... Anyway, a whole subgroup of the gay scene is heavily into the masculinity that is body hair... I assure you, out there in the world is some cute guy who is dreaming about your pelt and will all but worship you once he meets you.

 

I would echo what's already been said don't feel you have to conform and be smooth, there are lots of guys who prefer hairy to smooth so don't worry about it

 

A) I like hairy guys, and so do a lot

B) I am smooth and fucking hate it, I feel like a little boy, and am most likely more ashamed of it than you are for your hair

C) I too am skinny and have a hard time putting on mass, it's really fucking annoying.

Feeling unattractive fucking sucks, and there are only two things you can do

try to make yourself more attractive, or just try not to care.

I am in the process of trying not to care because I personally am almost disgusted in the way I look and think that it's impossible to make myself attractive.

I just have abstract thoughts that kind of make myself feel better, human sexuality is no different than animal sexuality, and the desire to be attractive...etc is because you want to fulfill an inner desire to "breed". Now if you can stop focusing on the actual "breeding" part and start realizing your obsession is no different than someone who gets hungry. It's just a part of humanity, and attraction is just another element of nature that is beyond your control and really is trivial when you look at it, it's almost barbaric.

At least this can delude you for a little while.

 

I get you. When I was younger, I used to be a bit overweight compared to my friends. Now, I am not anymore (and for the past 6 years). I go to the gym 5 times a week and sometimes I get compliments on the street. I am not saying this to brag, the truth is that I don't feel I am good looking, I also have more hair than I would want to (only have lower body hair, no chest hair or back). This bothers me so much that I am unable to be intimate with someone.
I know that here will always be things that we would like to change about ourselves, I've heard people who are absolutely beautiful complain about something they don't like about their body. We should try to accept how we are and don't be so demanding on ourselves.

 

I totally understand what you're talking about. I have always had big thighs and a big butt no matter how active I was or no matter how much I worked out. Don't be ashamed of your body, cuz you even said that you eat healthy and exercise, so this is how you were meant to be. Don't worry about that cliche bullcrap of boys with smooth twink bodies, it's a total stereotype that needs to stop. I personally don't mind someone with alittle weight on them. I'm sure you are very handsome, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You can message me if you ever want to talk.

 

Hi there, and welcome to EC! You've come to the right place.

In the world today we are constantly bombarded with images of what we 'should' look like. And when we don't measure up to those images we think that we are 'less than'. But as others have said, 99% of the population doesn't measure up, so you're far from alone.

With respect to body hair, my husband is hairy. He doesn't shave or wax - he used a trimmer / body groomer. Every few days he goes over himself with that, using different guards to get different effects. He leaves the hair on his pecs longer than the hair on his stomach. I think he looks incredibly hot! I wouldn't want him to be smooth. He has also grown out his beard and now wears that - trimmed neatly but still, the facial hair is SUCH a turn on! So don't sweat it. Learn to wear it in a way that you like it - and that builds self confidence.

Again - welcome!