Lately I've been thinking that I am at least somewhat socially anxious. I always get really nervous before talking to people, sometimes I plan what I'll talk about days in advance (out of worry that I'll just stand there awkwardly), and I screw up in conversations enough that I fear talking to people regularly because I'm afraid I'll insult them or ruin our relationship. I had it worse for a while where I couldn't even talk to my friends, but now I feel like I've completely ruined a sort of friendship with someone due to my awkwardness in conversation. I don't know if I should casually mention to him that I'm bad in social situations or apologize, I just feel like I always ruin it when I try to do something socially. I don't actually know where I'm going with this, I just feel really stupid and out of touch with other people and I don't know how to deal with it. What makes it even more frustrating is that I'm outgoing enough to get a conversation going but not enough to keep it going...
I'm exactly the same, I have the words planned out in my head but they never seem to come out that way. I have pissed more than a few people off and I wasn't even aware. I'm one of those people who apologizes a lot as well and that seems to annoy people. Just try to be yourself though, put your interest out there and not worry about what people think because in the end you know what you were trying to convey and if someone takes that the wrong that's their problem. Just don't let it get you down or discourage you from trying because while i have pissed some people off, I've also made some amazing friends just being my awkward self.
I have bad bad anxiety too. I know how it is thinking ok I wanna say hi but what if I get rejected. Then stress sweat and you're freaking out your hearts racing and by that time it's just like oh boy. Also with making everyone mad for me I typically always end up pissing everyone off at some point
I have severe social anxiety. I've suffered with it since I was a young teen. I wish I had some helpful advice to get you out of it, but I'm afraid there are no easy answers. I've seen therapist after therapist, been on medication upon medication, take tons of supplements, herbs, vitamins, etc., and still struggle to get those words I want to say to actually come out of my mouth. Being upfront and telling someone straight out that you are shy and socially awkward can take some of the edge off of it, if hearing that doesn't immediately put that person off then perhaps they will be more understanding of your social quirks. Though I should note there is a difference between shyness/slight social awkwardness and social anxiety.
I used to feel the same way, but as I've grown up and experienced more, I've learned better how to handle certain situations. Unless you have a social anxiety disorder, I think that the issue is that you haven't learned the 'social stuff' yet. As you are put into awkward situations more and more, you'll learn how to deal with it: how to avoid the awkwardness, how to have silence without awkwardness, etc. It sounds like you're already adapting - planning conversations in advance. I used to do that, and I still do that in some cases. If you truly think that you can't talk to people because of a disorder, maybe see a therapist and get their input, but with something like this, I think it just takes some time to learn these things. Some folks learn the 'social stuff' quicker than others. It doesn't matter that much, and like Rakkaus said, if you explain that you're a bit quieter/awkward to people, they'll usually understand, especially people of our generation.
Thank you all for your advice, to be honest I'm not sure if it is social anxiety but people in my family have a history of social disorders. I was really bad for a year or two but I got better and now I feel like I'm on the decline again. That said maybe its just all in my head...
I'm not trying to say you're crazy, but yes, it very well could be just that. This issue probably stems from a lack of self-confidence in social situations. That said, you're definitely more likely to assess yourself and conclude that you handle social awkwardness poorly, when it's actually not as big a deal as you think it is.
I know exactly what you're talking about. I've suffered with some extreme social anxiety, panic attacks and PTSD. Because of this, at times I've been isolated and avoid social situations. I tried therapy and medication - talk therapy only goes so far, and I h8 medication! -- I wanted to offer one piece of advice that dramatically helped - Mindfulness Meditation practice - every day meditate for 20-40 minutes. A small price to pay for relief of this terrible condition. Doing this daily and diligently - my anxiety and panic disappeared completely and I was more calm/less reactive. If you're interested to learn more google Dr. Jon-Kabat Zinn's books including - "Where ever you go there you are". Good Luck!
1.) Practice in social situations Is necessary for almost anyone. You don't know everyone and their preferences and what they like or get offended by or what not. It takes talent to read people or experience and carry on a conversation. 2.) Take something that requires confidence. Martial arts or musical performance do wonders while improving yourself in other ways. I used to be very socially anxious but I'm not anymore and I thank karate for making me a stronger person. It takes a while but don't give up.
