Depression.

First of all, if you aren't ready to come out don't.

Second coming out is not a prerequisite for getting depression treatment if it is a clinical thing. Talk to your school counselor. They can help guide you to getting treatment or speak to your parents about it.

 

You can say you are depressed, without having to give out the reason why.

Talking about it, on EC, or with a counsellor or a good trusted friend will help you find the way forward !!(*hug*)

 

Depression isn't a thing to be taken lightly. Whether or not you want to come out is your business, but there should be a way for you to discuss your depression without having to come out. Clinical depression does not always require a reason for existing and generally making things suckish. I've struggled with clinical depression for years and I've had plenty of times when its reared its ugly head with seemingly no trigger. This is something a lot of people don't seem to understand, but its something that NEEDS to be understood. Even if you know the reason you're feeling this way don't feel like you have to disclose it if you aren't comfortable - depression requires no reason to exist, therefore people should not push for a reason you're depressed. If you're worried about it, try talking to your doctor first, maybe? Sometimes parents will listen better and be less pushy or invalidating when a professional tells them things. Meds may or may not be helpful.... unfortunately, like with many things, they work a little different on everyone from what I understand, and many of them have side effects, some of which may be just kind of annoying and some of which may be less tolerable. I've been offered medication but I've never taken that route. Its important to understand though that medication is not a one-step quick fix easy solution for depression even if it does help. Medication is supposed to be an 'umbrella' to help ease the feelings of depression, not a magic cure. The underlying psychological causes need to be addressed. I would advise trying to get in to see a good therapist and accepting medicine if you feel its necessary, but relying on medication alone is only going to treat the symptoms, not the root of the problem. All the best and good luck! Depression is horrible to struggle with but there are ways to fight back Just remember you're amazing and never give up.

 

Hi,

So you're old enough that your medical records are confidential. Even your parents don't have access to them.

All you'd need to do is tell your parents you're feeling depressed and that you'd like to talk to a professional about it. Even if they want to know more, you can say you're not sure why, and you'd be more comfortable talking to a therapist.

Once they say OK, you can find a therapist that will work for you, and everything you say to him/her must be kept confidential. So there's no risk of anyone else finding out. You have to be honest in therapy for it to do any good, but there's no risk of outing yourself.

But I agree with other posters. Depression is a serious thing, and while you don't have to come out until you're ready, the depression needs to be dealt with.

 

Therapists can be extremely beneficial for a number of reasons, if you can find a GOOD therapist. Often, there are therapists who specialize in LGBTQ+ issues for example, or specialize in depression in adolescents, adults, etc. They have more of a direct approach to things because of this specialization and aside from just being an open minded person who will listen, they can actually give you certain techniques and exercises to help cope with/fix issues like anxiety and depression. Additionally, therapists are like doctors in that they cannot tell ANYONE anything you tell them without your permission. Like, literally, my therapist has to get permission from me to communicate with the special ed. teachers at my school and she always asks me exactly what's okay to disclose. They cannot disclose information that you don't allow them to, so your confidentiality is not in question. They can also refer you to support groups or other specialists/professionals who may be able to help you further. Some therapists will also offer CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy), which is sort of a form of 'brain reprogramming' with the aim of re-directing or stopping negative, harmful thinking and toxic attitudes towards one's self. Its nothing scary, mostly a lot of self-talk techniques and things, building an awareness of your own thought processes and learning how to know when your brain is tricking you into being negative when you don't need to be, although specific techniques vary from therapist to therapist. They can also act as a mediator between you and others, so if you ever DID decide you wanted to come out to your parents (or approach any other sort of difficult topic), a therapist could help to act as a sort of middle-man to keep everyone calm and safe and help to explain things in a way that they understand, and generally validate you. Again, parents have a tendency to take things better or more seriously when a professional explains it to them.

Not all therapists are created equal. Its important to find one that is knowledgeable about the issues you're having, who respects you and the position that you're in, and that you feel comfortable with. Things can be a little hit-and-miss with therapists. You may have to try a few, and things may be awkward at first, but it gets easier to talk to them after a while. If you don't feel safe/comfortable with your therapist or your therapist is being disrespectful/closed minded/generally horrible, try another one. But if you can find one that you feel you can work with, therapy can be a really great tool.

 

a friend is nice but isn't always objective enough to tell it to you straight.

 

A friend can only do so much. If what you need most is someone to listen, a shoulder to cry on, then a friend is probably fine.

But a therapist (a good one) is so much more. They have the training and skills to help you help yourself, not just sit there and listen. My therapists have introduced me to *so* many tools to help me cope with my different problems, tools that are specifically tailored to my situation. They've known how to ask the right questions and do the right amount of poking in the right places, to get me to open up (and figure out things) that I never would've even thought were issues. Therapists often have access to actual programs if you need them; I went through a 2-month long "program" where I was given specific questionaires and tables to fill in, to keep track of my moods, my meds, my thoughts, etc. I would *never* have been able to accurately keep track of certain "negative thoughts" without that paper in front of me.

So it really depends on your situation, if you can benefit from seeing a therapist. But you won't benefit much at all if you can't be open, which *may* be the deciding factor.