Hey guys, I have a little bit of a situation. Last August to the beginning of October I was 'seeing' (in the loosest possible form of the word) a boy. He was the first guy I had kissed and at the time I thought I liked him, which I didn't, hence identifying as gay more recently. Anyway, this guy was the ex of a kind-of-friend that I knew through mutual friends and we followed each other on tumblr. She sometimes wrote about him and I felt more and more guilty until I just stopped talking to the guy, and we fizzled out in October (he had also been at uni since September, coincidentally the same uni his ex was at, like I said it's a bit of a mess). To be honest I thought about her more than him a lot of the time. Fast forward to now, and me and his ex are talking and are meeting at a bar with some of her friends this friday. This could be completely innocent or it could not be, I just feel like I have to prepare for all eventualities. My question is how messed up is this? If it turns out she is interested in me, and I mean she's the one that made the first move and invited me out, and I have to tell her about me and her ex, how much of a deal breaker is that? Even though it was so many months ago and I didn't really know her then, and I was barely even interested in him at the time, I feel like I've screwed everything up before anything's even happened
Don't assume that she is going to take it badly. She could be totally over it. Go into the date with a great, fun attitude. See if you like each other, iron some kinks out, etc., and then tell her at a later date (but soon). If it bothers her, it bothers her. There's not a lot you can do to change the past. Just be honest with her relatively soon so she doesn't think you're trying to hide it from her. Personally, I wouldn't ever consider that a deal-breaker.
Thank you, that's definitely made me feel less terrible! I guess I'll worry about it when I get to it.
