How to Deal with Society - and everything else?

Hi, everyone ~
I didn't know where to put this, and hope I'm even doing this correctly, but I was browsing this site - to feel less alone, I suppose - and wanted to post in hopes of gaining some perspective...It's long, and I'm so sorry -

In a year's time, I went from a woman identifying as and presumed to be straight to a woman engaged to a woman - it's been an adjustment, to say the least. I went from sharing an apartment with my mom (I'm an only child, and we've always been somewhat of a team), to living and being in a committed relationship with another woman. In terms of my relationship with my fiancee - I've never in my life been happier or imagined I could be happier. I adore her, and we have an amazing, beautiful relationship. The other stuff that's come along with this? Well, it hasn't been so beautiful, and I keep thinking how bizarre it is that I can be so happy with her, and yet, so sad in every other aspect.

Firstly, I had to quit my longtime job so we could be together (she was a supervisor). This job wasn't perfect, but I was good at it, had a kind of leadership role, and felt fulfilled. I've quit everything else that I've gotten since, and I spend a lot of my time depressed over my job situation. Secondly, as pathetic as it may sound, I had never lived with anyone except my mom/stepdad, and suddenly, I was living with her, her loud/destructive/inconsiderate brother/his friends, and their cat. Her brother ultimately moved out, but I still feel like the apartment isn't "ours" (plus, it used to be her dad's, and she/her brother took it on when he got remarried, so all of the bills are in her dad's name, which just makes me feel awkward). I have horrible anxiety - social anxiety disorder, OCD, and generalized - so all these transitions have been much fodder for my brain as well. I'm a clean freak - I feel panicked when things aren't clean - and the apartment is older; it's one of those I can never clean enough, because it still looks dirty. And of course, cats require extra house maintenance (litter box, etc), so I'm learning how to take care of a pet, too. This is all new to me, and I'm often so overwhelmed that I'm crying, wishing I could just go "home", and yet, bring my fiancee with me. Thirdly, I'm sad about my mom. I feel like our relationship is never going to be the same since telling her, and to top it off, she's totally going through the "empty nest" thing and I feel guilty somehow. Honestly, she's always depended on me for more of her happiness than I think is healthy, but it riddles me with guilt, imagining her spending nights alone (my stepdad works nights and just constantly in general), and honestly? I miss the fun times we always had together too; the mother/daughter days. I try to spend time with her when I'm free and my fiancee is at work, but as soon as my fiancee comes home, I feel the need to go home to be with her, so our time is always limited. It's like, I want to spend time with both of them, and simply can't. My fiancee and I want to move, and all I can think is, how can I leave her? It makes me want to cry, but I also don't want to live here, and my mom won't move, because of my stepdad. I don't know what to do.

Finally, I don't know how to deal with my friends, who just don't talk to me as much anymore, or treat me the same, since finding out about my relationship. I have almost no friends now, outside of my relationship. I also haven't even told my extended family, or extended acquaintances, mostly because practically the only time I communicate with these people is through Facebook or at holidays, and neither one feels appropriate for that kind of thing, for me. My mom doesn't know how to tell her mom and the family - she's nervous, but I sometimes wonder if she's also ashamed. I feel like I've disappointed her. And most of all, I don't know how to deal with society. Especially because we live in the south, I don't know how to deal with things like emergency contact forms for jobs (what if they don't hire me when they see a female partner?) or at the doctor's. For instance, today, I took my fiancee to the doctor, and when the receptionist asked my relation for the contact form, I lied and said, "Sister." I was too afraid to deal with the fallout. I also have heard all of these stories about hospitals/health care places not letting one partner see the other, etc., and we don't have power of attorney yet, and even then, I've heard stories of the place still withholding visitation, and I just kind of freak out and say sibling. I don't want this to be my life - I don't want to lie my whole life. I want to say "fiancee" and say it without fear, and eventually, wife. I want to move, and be happy, and live our lives, because we are in love and that's beautiful. The feeling I get when I lie is so awful. But how? How can I get there? It seems impossible right now.

Thanks for listening.