Hey everyone, Last week I posted a thread about a guy I met that seemed super interested in me, but ditched when we had plans to meet. His messages have confused me for a while, but I think I have it figured out now. I'm pretty sure that he just just wants to hook up. I don't know how I feel about that. On one hand, he is EXTREMELY attractive and seems like a decent person. I also am extremely inexperienced when it comes to guys, so it could be nice to get some experience with someone I find attractive. On the other hand, I'd also like to think of myself as more than just a hookup. Well I don't know if that's describing it right necessarily. I guess I mean I'm worried about getting too attached. Also, I'm really inexperienced and maybe the first time I do things will be better if it is with someone who actually cares about me. I just don't know what I want. I see upsides and downsides to both ways. I mean, I wouldn't have sex with him, but I am considering doing sexual things with him. What do you think?
Hi there! Given your thoughts on whether it is the right thing for you, I'd say follow your instincts as much as you can. Your instincts are going to be your best guide. Being intimate with somebody who you care about, but also with somebody who cares about you, is going to make that first experience so much more meaningful. The chances of you having regrets and second thoughts afterward are going to be significantly lower.
You definitely need to give some thought to this. Some guys are fine with 'no strings' and can have sex without wanting to get more involved, but if you think you might develop stronger feelings for someone then you could end up getting hurt. Just because someone has lots of sex (experience) with other people, doesn't mean they are any better at it. Remember, quality isn't the same as quantity. You'll have much better sex with someone who is more intimately connected to you - you'll feel desire, passion and love that is lacking or completely non-existent in a quick 'hook up'. You'll learn from each other more intimately as you take time to explore each others bodies and discover those sensitive areas that make sex have the wow factor. When you know what really turns another person on and focus on that you will have the best sex. It's for you to decide, but don't let yourself get hurt.
Thanks for the advice!! I need to decide if I can look at this situation like it's just a fun way to get off and be okay with it. I guess that's the biggest thing. I do feel like there is a point when screwing around is just that. If I'm able to keep that mindset, I feel like everything should be fine. I'm just not sure if I can.
Hi there! If you are not sure that you can be fine with it, or have the feeling you'll feel hurt afterward, it might be a good idea just to let it slide and to work on finding that special someone.
