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This was just supposed to be hanging out

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by itsonlyrelative, Mar 2, 2014.

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  1. itsonlyrelative

    itsonlyrelative
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    One of my guy friends asked me if I wanted to see a movie with him to night and I said sure. He texted and asked if we could grab some dinner before. I thought he meant causally because he is a year younger than me and I have been mentoring him since he was a freshman…but as I am getting my lazy butt out my sweatpants and into jeans and a tshirt he texts me saying he will pick me up at 7 to go to Coastal Flats.

    This is not hanging out anymore is it….?

    I can’t let him think this is a date. What do I do to make this not a date?
     
    #1 itsonlyrelative, Mar 2, 2014
  2. TJ

    TJ
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    I think the best thing would be to just text him asking if he knows that you want to go as friends, and if he doesn't know that, tell him that you weren't expecting this to be a formal date. You just wanted to hang out with him.

    Be honest and upfront. You didn't do anything wrong - he might have just gotten the wrong message. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:
     
    #2 TJ, Mar 2, 2014
  3. JessRae

    JessRae
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    Well tell him straight that it's not a date and that be very clear that you are not into guys. Yes he might get hurt but it's better that way than to let him expect something when in fact it was just nothing. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 JessRae, Mar 2, 2014
  4. alex3191

    alex3191
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    This is probably crappy advice but how about you could dress as casually as possible, make it look as though you just got out of bed and got dressed in the dark and when he gets there suggest eating at mc Donalds or somewhere un-date like and maybe comment how hot some random stranger is so if he thinks this is a date he would quickly realize you don't think it is without you having to say anything.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2014 at 10:57 PM ----------

    Actually forget my advice I agree with TJ, much better advice:slight_smile:
     
    #4 alex3191, Mar 2, 2014
  5. sweetgayboy

    sweetgayboy Guest

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    well at least he has good taste but yes u definetly need to tell him now you're not into guys
     
    #5 sweetgayboy, Mar 2, 2014
  6. Chip

    Chip
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    Since you aren't out, you can't exactly just tell him you're a carpet muncher, not a sausage lover. :slight_smile:

    So just say that you'd prefer to go somewhere casual, and you were expecting this to be a friend thing and not a date. He'll certainly be a bit disappointed and maybe a bit rejected/shameful, but neither of those are your fault, and hopefully he'll understand. And if you can bring yourself to tell him you don't like guys... he'll feel less ashamed. But keep in mind if you do tell him... assume it will spread, so perhaps not a good idea until you're ready for others to know.
     
    #6 Chip, Mar 2, 2014
  7. Seagypsy

    Seagypsy
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    I would say just don't flirt with him,that way he will get the message x
     
    #7 Seagypsy, Mar 4, 2014
  8. itsonlyrelative

    itsonlyrelative
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    Thanks for all the advice, it all worked out. I ended up explaining that I didn't want to be in a relationship with any guys right now....I don't think he pieced together the fact that trend is a permenant one, but we are friends now so its all good
     
    #8 itsonlyrelative, Mar 8, 2014
  9. sharkpool

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    :d
     
    #9 sharkpool, Mar 8, 2014
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