Homeschooled and Ready to Quit

Almost all throughout school, I saw it as mostly pointless. Now that I'm out, I'm extremely thankful for what I learned there. Not so much for the material (college is where it gets interesting), but for the desire to know things and the ability to learn. So I can safely say "you'll understand when you're older" as fatherly as that sounds XD.

But do look around and try to find something else you're interested in. The piano's a good start, but gainful employment opportunities are very few unless you're a virtuoso pianist. Would you consider work-from-home jobs like freelance graphic design? The sooner you choose a path and go at it full-throttle, the better your advantage will be in that field. **But do be careful there, because if you choose poorly, you might have to get out and start all over again elsewhere.

 

That has to be hard, especially socially. I mean, how are you supposed to meet friends and such? Hopefully, when you get a car, you'll be able to have some more freedom. So often home-schooling seems like parents are trying to make some kind of protective bubble around a person, while robbing them of a better education.

Are there any support groups for gay teens in your area?

Also, do you have any relatives that are more open-minded that you might stay with? Maybe move in with, and go to an actual school again? I'd be tempted to take off, as well, though I'd have no idea where to go...wish I had a better solution, but hang in there, and it'll be over eventually.

 

Oh man. I can relate.

I was homeschooled for most of high school, starting about halfway through my freshman year. My family wasn't religious and most of my curriculum wasn't anything beyond superficially Christian. But, despite that, even though I'd been promised going into homeschooling that I'd receive a balanced and at-my-own pace education, I regretted it. Had a huge family and I was often in charge of helping to educate them. And because I had to find my own curriculum and educate myself, there weren't many checks and balances or even reinforcement to want to push ahead. Didn't have access to peers on a consistent basis so for about 3 years, I basically spent almost no time around anyone close to my own age. They'd either be way younger or older, and had no common ground with any of them. I'd been told over and over and over again that high school wasn't important, that peer interactions were pointless, that any possible high school experiences I could've had (like prom/homecoming/drama club/etc) were meaningless.

And they probably were, but I still wonder, from time to time, what I could've had if I'd stayed in public school. Maybe I would've been able to socialize better. Hell, maybe I would've had my gender figured out sooner. Maybe I'd have RL friends.

If you're not happy homeschooling and you know it's not going to benefit you, then don't try to "wait until it gets better". Education is supposed to make you a better person and give you a foundation for life in society.

Now, not everyone needs an Ivy league education or even a degree to do something meaningful in their life. But even if this education has to come on your own, it has to be something that's going to benefit you.

If you can, move out with a relative who'll accept or at least tolerate you.

Best of luck.

And Husky's comment about the bubbling rings loads of truth. I mean, I knew so many damn homeschoolers (me included) who grew up really fucking sheltered and awkward.

I'm not saying homeschooling's bad in itself. There's loads of people who really benefit from being able to tailor their education and have the flexibility that public school doesn't allow. But it is what you put in. Parents/home educators have to ensure that what they're giving their child isn't hours in front of a computer or textbook. You've got to get your kid out there, let them experience the world for a change. I had friends who had absolutely fantastic experiences homeschooling. But they had parents who let them go out, knew people from all walks of life, got to hear multiple points of view, and weren't held on a leash.

 

Any chance you could switch curriculum? Which one are you on right now? Some are good, some are bad, you and your parents need to agree on one that works for you.

School isn't useless, please don't say you want to be a stay-at-home dad until you at least finish high school. Dropping out at 15 could be catastrophic! You know, it's very hard to live on a single income these days, so you'll likely have to bring in at least some money.

And running away wouldn't be smart either. You're really too young to make it out on your own.

If you need curriculum suggestions or ideas, feel free to post on my wall. I was homeschooled, and I did a ton of research on that stuff.

 

If there is one thing you can do to expand your education, it's find stuff on the internet in the right places. Check out Khan Academy for very focused topics on the most relevant things you can learn today:

https://www.khanacademy.org/

Just press "Learn"...and see your mind expand!

 

First off, be grateful that she made you start homeschooling during high school. You already know 90% of what you need to know, so even if your mom's curriculum is a load of ideological bullshit, your education is far from screwed. My mom started homeschooling me when I was in 4th grade, and I'm so behind on algebra that I don't think anyone in their right mind would let me into a college. I have no family and very few friends, so my education is pretty much the only thing I give a shit about anymore. Without education, my life is straight up meaningless.

Sorry for venting...

I know how you feel about the curriculum. My mom tried to put me on a curriculum that was made by a evangelical woman who believes that the world was made in 6 days. It has optional courses about the Bible and taught NOTHING about evolution. I already know about evolution for the most part, but still, it's pretty insulting. It doesn't say anything about homosexuality, but I'm asuming this woman is one of those "if children never learn about homosexuality, there will be no more gays" kind of people.
It's not just insulting to me because I'm an agnostic atheist who believes in evolution, it's also insulting because I'm part Native American (not just a little bit either, you can tell by looking at my face and skin-tone that I'm not 100% white), and it makes Christopher Columbus look like some kind of saint. Don't get me wrong, he IS an important part of history. But did they have to make it sound SO P.C?
My conservative aunt and uncle told me to hold in my beliefs since my mom REFUSES to give me a high school diploma unless I complete it (even though I already know everything in there that's actually factual, with the exception of algebra.) I told them it's my way or the highway, and I plan on taking GED classes once they're open. I HATED the idea of me getting a GED at first, but it's better for me to get a GED with dignity than get a high school diploma as a sell-out.

Sorry, I vent WAY TOO MUCH...

I think you should just ignore all the ideological crap and focus on the stuff you know is factual.
You can look up stuff you know it won't teach you, such as evolution, in your free time. If your mom will let you get your GED in a few years, GET IT.

---------- Post added 6th Mar 2014 at 03:15 PM ----------

I've used this site a few times, it's pretty good. I'd also recommend: Take Online Courses. Earn College Credit. Research Schools, Degrees & Careers

 

Don't judge all homeschoolers by the OP's parents. Homeschooling basically saved my life.

I was a grade 7 kid with diagnosed PTSD and undiagnosed autism, being bullied nonstop by classmates and having panic attacks at school on a regular basis. I was depressed all the time - I literally forgot what being happy felt like. I was getting into trouble at school because I'd feel like I had to run away and if anyone tried to stop me from leaving I'd physically attack them.

Then I got kicked out of school for attacking the principal, and my parents were thinking of trying to find another school for me, and knowing I'd just be having the same issues over again in my new school, and they decided to just homeschool me instead.

While I was homeschooled, my depression went away, my panic attacks got a lot less frequent and less severe, and most importantly I could feel happy again. I couldn't cooperate with any lesson plans because I'd get too anxious about them, so my parents just let me teach myself by researching whatever I was interested in. Since I have an IQ of 137 and a lot of skill scatter, I wasn't learning that much in school - I learnt a lot more when I could choose to work at my level, whether that was above or below the average.

I went back to school for grade 10 and got fine marks, but my psychological health went downhill quite a bit (even though for once I wasn't bullied, just being in a school brought back too many memories). So I returned to homeschooling for grade 11 and 12. I get an autism diagnosis in grade 10, probably the only good thing I got out of returning to school.

Then, at 19, I decided to sign up for university. I took the SAT and got in the 1800s, so I was admitted, and now I'm a 3rd year undergraduate psychology student and really enjoying my classes.

There are many homeschooled kids who get good educations. And some kids really need a 'protective bubble' to be in.

There are bad homeschooling parents, just like there are bad parents who don't homeschool. But there are a lot of really good homeschooling parents too, and kids who really benefit from homeschooling.

 

Thank you, Ettina. You pretty much said what I would have said but I was too lazy to type haha.

OP, ok so your parents want a Christian curriculum, that's fine. Can you negotiate which one? Sonlight, for example, is extremely rigorous, but still Christian. I've heard that although Apologia has little technical problems in terms of scientific fine points, my understanding is that it is still a strong science curriculum. If you are using ACE, maybe Alpha Omega of Switched-On Schoolhouse would be slightly better? ACE is really quite abysmal...

For math, Saxon is secular but suitable for Christians, and is an excellent math curriculum. The DIVE CDs are Christian supplements that you can use with Saxon. Teaching Textbooks might be another option. I've also heard good things about Life of Fred, which is Christian. My friend loved Math-U-See, which is Christian, too.

Look up Cathy Duffy's homeschool curriculum reviews, she reviews a bunch of them and clearly indicate which ones are Christian and which ones aren't.

I know this is hard and your parents might not be on board with this, but it's worth a try, no? There is a lot of evil in the world so I do see where your mom is coming from. But you should still get a decent education. If all else fails, read, read, read whatever you can get your hands on.

 

It's actually warming to read someone having a positive Christian homeschool experience. In my case, homeschool went much the same as it went for drwinchester--basically, a farce. My mom has only a high school education and while I'm not saying that's necessarily indicative of on'es qualifiecations as a teacher, in my mom's case it was. Deal was basically that she and my dad got permission from the county, school board, or whoever to start homeschooling me and my brother, ordered some textbooks, and that was it. (This was in the early 90's, before a widespread internet.) I guess there managed to be somewhat of a regular curriculum the first year, but after that it totally went to pot because my mom's heath turn a sudden turn south. Apparently, no thought was put into enrolling us back in pulbic school. No outisde testing was done at all. Mom just told us to "study on our own". Anyway, got my GED a year late as a result, although passed with flying colors because I've always been studious and self-learned a lot of things.

In the OP's case, I hope things are better. As mentioned, it's a good thing for the internet to keep the homeschoolers at least somewhat connected to the real workld. I wish the best of luc to you, hopefully your mom simmers down after a time.

 

I'm sorry to hear that, I can see that you didn't have a good time with that... Things have really changed since the early 90s, though. With the new accredited online programs (not all of them are good, mind you, but some are, much in the same way that Sonlight is not accredited but is reputed as being excellent), as well as more awareness, it's a lot easier for parents to do it "right."

My only beef with my homeschooling experience was that being homeschooled in my area = living on the edge of society. Between the uneasiness of explaining to people why I didn't go to school (because the questions that followed were often very intruding), the lack of formal recognition of my enrollment in an actual educational program, and other girls not including me in their friend groups because I didn't go to their school, it wasn't always a piece of cake. In other words, society, not homeschooling, was my problem. Kind of like children of gay parents. But with more people choosing this path and raising awareness, hopefully we won't be seen as "weirdos" anymore.

Oh btw, my experience of homeschooling was virtually 100% secular. But I have heard a lot about various Christian curricula, which I why I'm able to say which ones are seen as the best and which ones are to be avoided.

 

it's a tough situation you're in, for sure - but remember that it is only temporary. The world is your oyster and soon you'll be able to live the way you want to. The best thing you can do now is to equip yourself with useful skills - that will give you options in the future.

EG, if you have any aptitude at all for maths, then focus on that. Maths will take you a really long way in life and opens up all sorts of careers later on.

it's also basically the foundation of science anyway.

 

Mine was too.

 

This seems like a tough situation and it also doesn't help that your education isn't exactly secular, but remember that this won't last forever. Once you get out there and experience the world, it will get better and you will find your place int the world. If there is any chance that your mother will let you go get a GED or let you take the SAT, go for it. It will help you out in the long run and will provide you with all of the skills needed for college, which is pretty much a requirement in finding most decent jobs, even at-home ones.

 

Do NOT give up on school. As others have said, the material in college does not necessarily prepare you for life. But the patterns it requires you to detect (in math, writing, etc.) are priceless in any career. This it a talent developed over the course of many years.

Alternatively, GEDs are an option. I would not encourage anyone to pursue one, but they do exist. I, myself, got my GED at age 17 and was able to begin college that much sooner. 2 years later, I've received As in every course and scored in the highest GED-percentile. So any social stigma regarding GEDs should be ignored.

 

Tell your parents you don't want to be homeschooled, and what options they would consider

 

I feel for you friend. I can't imagine that you're getting an education right now. They're probably filling your head up with the opposite of education. Please please please please tell me they are at least not Young-Earth Creationist teachings...please 0.0

If they are teaching you Young-Earth Creationism you'd be a thousand times better off just living in a box in a back alley somewhere because you'd be a more productive member of society that way -.-'

Seriously though...don't go live in a box. That's just a terrible idea all around.

If you have access to a computer I'd suggest you do independant education. I assume you hide this website from your homophobic parents so I'd advise you look into real education that will actually teach you things.


Seriously though I can imagine that it must be rough having to deal with your parents forcing you into social isolation and trying to use a 2,000 year old book as a replacement for valid education. *sighs* I feel for you.