So I've been drinking a lot this last twelve months.. So much so today I decided I wasn't drinking today... And it's eight o'clock and all I can think about is getting a drink... I wouldn't say I was an alcoholic but I drink to de stress not much but just enough.. So I'm on day one... I wonder how long it will last...
Richie, I'm right there with you. I have a pretty strong cocktail almost every night, just to destress. I don't get drunk; haven't in decades. My dad was an alcoholic, so I can read the signs. When you have that first drink of an evening, does it just leave you craving more, until you're just numb? If so, you've got a problem. Do you drink until you get a little buzz on and relax, and then stop? Then probably not. Do you drink when you're alone? If so, do you drink out of sadness and loneliness? Maybe it's time to talk to a therapist about it. But, problem or not, you could attend an AA meeting just to listen to others talk about their addictions. You don't have to share if you don't want to. But it will probably give you some insight into yourself. Finally, you say it's eight o'clock and all you can thing about is getting a drink. Ask yourself why you feel you need it. If you can find an answer that rings true, it will help... As I said, Richie, I'm right there with you. When I first joined EC 6 or 7 weeks ago, your threads were some of the first I saw. Let us know how it goes. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) /Ed.
Personally I can't stand drinking alone. I like to be involved with friends as it helps lift the spirits. Does drinking bring any joy or is it to mask pain only? I say drink with friends for company and cheer. Use it as something to look forward to. Drinking for drinking sake is unfortunately alcoholism because it is an addiction. Your body does build up a tolerance from production of alcohol dehydrogenase enzymes and you don't actually get drunk or stay drunk ad long. It also damages your liver as well as if you quit cold turkey you will get tremors and shakes. You should speak to someone to help clear underlying issues up. We are here for you, even if to only listen. Stay strong.
I'm sorry... that test says if you basically have ever drunk and honestly answered it says you're at risk of being an alcoholic. So loaded and biased against any responsible drinking.
Richie I was there last year, and probably was close to becoming an alcoholic, and it does run in my family... so I was aware that I had to be conscious of what I was doing before it went too far. I would drink alone in the basement. I would drink a lot but only got buzzed, I have a high tolerance which is good and very bad at the same time. Even in college people were surprised how in control I was after having a lot of alcohol.... and I'm a hard liquor guy, not beer, occasionally wine with a meal usually holidays. so, I would drink to feel numb. I was wallowing in self doubt and depressed about what I had done getting married and having kids, knowing all along I was gay. I finally came to terms with myself and accepted that I would never be fixed, there was nothing wrong with being gay to fix. I spent probably four months or more drinking almost every night. By thanksgiving we were out of alcohol and I didn't realize just how much I had consumed. That was my wakeup call that I had to stop. I had never been drunk during the time, just buzzed and numb. Once I gave up the booze (now I have an occasional gin and tonic out with dinner) I started feeling so much better about.myself, and began to path of gaining my self integrity that led me here and finally the courage to come out to my wife last night.
Rich, You sound like me the 2 years before i came out to my wife. Drinking heavily probably 4 or 5 nights a week, but it basically just made me more miserable. After i came out, i cut it down to once a week
I've had a pretty bad stretch of getting drunk most nights after work since this past fall. Just haven't been able to find a more effective (note I don't say "better") way to ignore (note I don't say "treat") the depression. I've been better lately, most night only limiting myself to one beer (I drink Heineken). Starting on my third as I type this, though, lol.
Hi, Rich. According to some of the most recent brain research, there are two types of alcoholics/addicts: 1. People who are prone to alcoholism because of early childhood attachment failures with the parent... which, in turn, cause insufficient development of the brain pathways that relate to the hormones that moderate mood. These people will always be at risk of addiction, but can take steps to repattern their brain pathways. 2. People who are self-medicating to numb feelings, but have no inherent brain chemistry issues that put them at risk of addiction. Both groups can become addicts and have difficulties maintaining sobriety, but group 2 has much less trouble maintaining sobriety than group 1. It's hard to say, but if the pattern has only developed in the past 12 months, and is conincident with your coming to terms with your sexual orientation and feeling "stuck" in your current situatino... then more likely, you're self-medicating. However, the patterns you're describing, if not. addressed, could turn a temporary self-medication problem into a longer term one. First, don't blame yourself or get angry with yourself. This is a pattern you fell into or learned from somewhere, and the important piece is that you're recognizing that it's an issue and seeking help. Second, yes, the cravings do diminish over time. You've got a combination of a psychological issue (the feelings are more present and more difficult if you aren't numbed with alcohol) and probably some level of physical dependency, both of which are making it more difficult to not drink. Drinking to de-stress is not a healthy pattern, because as you ahve more stress, you'll drink more. So one of the first things you can do is find other things to do to de-stress. Meditation, exercise, watching comedy movies or shows... all of those can be helpful. Masturbating can help for some people. And sometimes writing in a journal just to get the feelings out can be a big help. All of these release hormones that relax you and reduce the level of stress hormones in your body, and are much better de-stressers than using medications to try and run away from the feelings. You should be able to give up alcohol for a month and not crave it seriously. If you find you're having real difficulty with that, then there is a developing problem, and it's one you should seek help with. It can be difficult to quit all by yourself, so I'd suggest either checking out an AA meeting, or seeing a therapist and/or joining a support group of some type. Again, don't judge yourself... this is the coping strategy you use because it's what you know. The key is learning healthier ones, and if you put your mind to it, it should not be that difficult for you.
Thanks for replies guys I appreciate them all!! So I'm two days sober, day one was the hardest.. I don't even want to drink to get drunk just one drink is enough for me, but it's every day.. And normally more than one drink but the truth that's what I was saying to myself. One drink won't hurt rich etc.. But yeah it would of ruined my two day count... I don't feel better but I've saved a few bob... And I don't feel any worse so all good!!!
