I am in a very difficult position right now. The girl I was falling in love with got scared of her feelings for me and so instead of anything happening between us, which it would've done with time, she jumped into a fling with a younger girl aged 22 who is physically very cute but not really a good personality match, whereas me and her were feeling something real, but both of us got scared I want to remain friends with her and hope for a chance in the future but how to go about this? I cannot believe the fling will last, although it has been going well so far. I miss her so much, the fun and laughs we had once, I want them back! I am in my 30s and the girl I love is around 30 too, but the other girl is too young to even know the depth of feelings we were developing. I am so sad, how to win back my love??
As much as I want to tell you go "go get'er" and "win back your love!", I think patience is the key here. If you jump into their 'fling' and stir things up, you're not going to look like a very desirable person. :/ Really, you'll just look like a homewrecker who's jealous. Let their relationship play out. Maybe it will work, maybe it will not, but that's for the girl you like to decide. If she'll allow it, try to stay friends with her. Don't invade her privacy. If you two had been dating prior to this fling with the 22 y/o, it would be different, but you weren't in a relationship, so you have stricter boundaries to abide by. In the mean time, take this opportunity to date yourself a bit. Learn more about yourself, exercise, improve yourself physically and mentally, figure out what makes you 'tick'. Don't get sucked into their relationship. Be you, and let her be her.
Wise words! I agree with your advice, but the situation is still very messy... We weren't in a physical relationship but we had started an emotional relationship! When I talk to L (the younger girl) I'm thinking "nah you're not right for her" but she is a sweet girl and when I see her hurting because A (the girl we both love) has not been in contact with her again or said no to an actual relationship with her, it hurts me too. I feel upset for her that A can do that to her, but then when I see them talking together, I feel pain If A texts her it hurts me because I wonder what they could be talking about, me and her culd have a much better time...but when I see L looking upset and lonely at being ignored by A, I think how dare A do that, would she do that to me too ?? I would rather they gave it a go for a few months if they want to, I can;t see it being a long lasting thing but equally I don't want things to get messed up between me and A... which is very tricky right now. I can;t sort out my feelings, they are really complex, I just know that the love and pain I feel over A is stronger than anything I've ever felt, really scary deep... I just know we could have a great chance and A knows it too, but I think she is choosing to ignore it for now... if anything DID happen, then surely that would upset L ??
Seagypsy, I don't know what I can offer, but I can at least relate when you talk about the depth of feeling. I oft-times feel like I can love in a way more profound, more encompassing, more substantial than most people are used to. Unfortuantely, this also drives a lot of people away because they can't handle it. I'm hoping in your case that your love-interest will at least over time realize the love you had for her and will desire to return to it. You have my (*hug*), if notihng else.
Thank u (*hug*)(*hug*)xx She is scared of her feelings for me, that's why she started a casual fling But L thought it meant more......... :icon_redf
Update: Still caught up in my lesbian love triangle....!!! "A" keeps dating "L", then chucking her because of something I've said, then both of us realise we are too scared to ask each other out, so we avoid each other and then she gets back with L because L is more out of the closet than either of us, so sleeping with L gives her the confidence to flirt with me, which gives me the confidence to flirt back..... and so it goes on!! I really like L, she is a lovely girl and very cute too, I would date her myself for a casual fling but she is being used by A. She gets really upset when A chucks her, more than I realised she would, I didn't think they had a deep enough relationship for that but young L has clearly fallen hard for A even if A doesn't think its serious with her... :icon_redf I feel awful about this and I'm sure A does too, but she needs L's confidence to help her out with me... if we could all agree to date each other, it might actually work, but I don't think L is up for that yet, although I'm coming round to the idea now....and for A, it would be a dream come true...! I think what I really need to do is strengthen my friendship with both girls whilst they are dating each other, and show them I don't mind, then we may be in a much better position to proceed - however that may be.............. :eusa_doh:
