Bit of a weird story here. I'd dated a guy for a bit (Knew each other for a year, dated for 3 months but he basically lived with me during that time). Friends hated him. I knew it was a toxic relationship, and I ended up getting out of it. Obviously I was upset about it, but what I was more worried about, was that my BEST friend of eight years was starting to gravitate towards him. (So much for my friends hating him, right? Suddenly everyone was defending them "well YOU broke up with him, you can't be upset about this.") But I don't think I was upset about losing him. I was upset about losing HER and how crappy of a person HE was, and how he was gonna latch onto her. Well, long story short, they ended up together. Of course, right? (About a month and a half after we broke up) I was really upset about losing her, though, because I wasn't sure I wanted to talk to her after this. I was upset. It felt like betrayal, because *I* was alone and upset, and she chose to go to him. And then all my friends were telling me I brought it on myself by breaking up with him. (I think, looking back, we really were in love with each other. I know she loved me, but I was afraid of my feelings. Which was why I was dating a guy in the first place.) But three years have passed. They've ended up together, and I recently apologized for my behavior (i.e.: distancing myself over it) even though I felt like I was the one who really deserved an apology. (He also discourages her from even talking to me, which shows. We used to talk every day before this all happened. Now we talk once every.. 6 months.) Now she wants to have dinner on friday because she'll be back in the state. I'd love to be friends with her again. I really, truly would. But it'll never be like it used to be, and that kills me. Because the reason it's still so difficult is that after three years, I still love her. I'm afraid I always will. She's the one that got away for sure. I don't know... I just need some advice. How to handle this? I'd love to be friends, but I don't know if it'd just be bad for me to continue. I know I'd always hope that she'd come back to me, but I just want her to be happy..
Love... well not to be cliche or anything... but if you love something you must let it go ^^ Does she know you're interested in her? maybe you can make the friendship work so long as you set it out that you don't want to talk about "him". I am however terrible with relationship advice, but I've always felt that the seconds best thing a person can do is sacrifice their feelings for the feelings of others, especially when Love is in play
She knows that I still love her. But she also knows that I'd never do anything to hurt her relationship, as much as I wish she had chosen to stay. The point is: she didn't. And I feel the same about letting her go. It just seems that I can't. Like, I would never, ever do something to hinder the relationship she's got, but I don't know if I can let her go completely. If she wants my friendship, I don't know if I can say no, even though it's painful to stay close. But it's painful to be away from her, too.
Such is the life of a Martyr of Love. I would think your best bet would be to weigh the situation, what would hurt you more, being away from her, both physically and emotionally or being close to her?
From personal experience I cannot get past the "we once had something but let's just be friends" stage. My advice is not to get into a precarious position with your heart. I've been there and it sucks. That's just my opinion is to stay away. You will figure out what's best for you.(*hug*)
