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Juggling lifestyles...

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Csp1993, Mar 10, 2014.

  1. Csp1993

    Csp1993 Guest

    Do you think its ok to have to be a different person to certain people? Do you think it's healthy? For example, someone who is gay and out to a friend. They can be themselves around that friend, but have to act straight around everyone else. What are the pros and cons of living a double life and when do you think enough is enough?
     
  2. Kasey

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    You know that almost everyone here who isn't out lives a double lifestyle...

    And even then you behave differently in front of different crowds. Your family, friends, job, etc. I don't see it as a big deal and it's actually natural. Just look at the concept of "code switching". Your language style and lexicon changes depending who you are with.
     
  3. Incognito10

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    Short answer: hiding, inhibitions, shame etc regarding such a large aspect of your life, that is accepted from a medical and psychological standpoint, will only lead to anxiety, IMO.

    Much could be said on this topic. Doesn't sound healthy, but as poster above said, most of us have done or are doing it.
     
  4. Straw_berry

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    I think it's completely normal. I have numerous lifestyles and sometimes completely different personalities depending on the people i'm around or the situations i'm in Nyu~
     
  5. Kasey

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    Exactly...
     
  6. Kreiger

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    It can be a bit exhausting to not be as open as you want with some people, but I've noticed I change my behavior around people not just on my sexuality. All that's happened with my friends since I've come out is they make more gay jokes, but as long as I can remember I make an effort to act extra polite to adults and not swear and stuff. With people my own age I tend to be a bit more dry, but adults get only politeness because they're usually not worth getting into it with. (Unless they're really being an asshat.)
     
  7. resu

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    I think it depends on the situation. I mean, sexuality is just one part of us, and many situations/environments (like work, school, etc.) are virtually asexual, or at least should be.
     
  8. Theron

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    I am quiet about my sexuality with clients at work at in a religious setting, and I generally act more like my boyfriend is just a friend most of the time in public. There are situations where your sexuality shouldn't be discussed or matter--and there are some countries where I wouldn't be in any hurry to advertise!
     
  9. C P

    C P
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    The bolded. It's almost like instinct to lower the swearing around older people in general in public, and kids.

    It is a hassle with the double life though. Luckily I'm not holding much of me back aside from liking guys(feel for those who are naturally more stereotypical and have to hide it) but I at times wish I could discuss that.