Oh god, kill me now! I am the most hilarious disaster of a person. Let me fill you in! On dating site, answering questions for the hell of it, waiting for response from message from guy who seems OK (but he doesn't like geeks so that's not going anywhere) when all of a sudden WHAM! Recommendation. You may like SUPER PRETTY GIRL. Anyway after looking through her profile and realising that if she can get past the fact that I look like me, it could be worth a shot, I decided to send her a message. Well can I write like a normal human being? No. See I don't know how to DO first contact. Can you just up and say to a person "Hi I'm Holly, you seem nice and also you are really pretty!" Is that a thing? Can you DO that? Well maybe you can, I can't apparently...I made some weird introduction, apologised for being crap at things like this, said she seemed nice then apologised for sounding weird...then I felt like I HAD to ask a question just to fill space and then I sent it. Now I feel stupid because I can't imagine why anyone would want to have anything to do with someone who can't say hello without freaking out. Why do I have to be so shy and nervous! Anyway, 2 things needed from you guys. 1. Even if you have to lie to me, please tell me that wasn't the worst message ever in history! 2. Any tips on how to not panic, or how to make a message sound like it came from a human?
1. It wasn't awful!!! :roflmao: Stop worrying! People nowadays recognize that some people are super shy. Don't worry 'bout it! It's in the past. Nothing you can do to change it, so don't worry about it. 2. Honestly, you are one of the most eloquent people on EC, and I LOVE reading your posts because they are so human. Just type like you talk, because you is amazing. Don't over-think your messages. Just respond how you'd regularly respond to it. Hope everything goes well with it!
Honestly I'd find that comforting. I'm pretty shy and lacking confidence when it comes to flirting and dating, so seeing that in the person I'm talking to makes me feel safe and takes some of the pressure off.
GRRR. Waiting for messages to come back is horrible. Every time I send one I worry I've said something wrong and they won't talk to me again
Ya'll need to take a chill pill. What have you got to lose by being yourself? Put out those good vibes that you so easily do. If someone returns them, keep it rolling. If not, don't sweat it. You're on a dating site - the GOAL is to find someone. Do everyone a service and be yourself. That way, if someone hears your beat and doesn't like it, they can move along easily and you won't have to go through the 'fake' phase. If someone hears your awesome beat and they start playing back, just keep being yourself. How else are they going to know what you're like? Sorry for all of the weird... phrases and expressions. :rolle: I enjoyed this reply too much.
1. I actually would've loved your opening! It's way better than the standard, "Hey." 2. I have this same problem haha. Just be yourself. If you screw up, just kinda go along with it or make a joke. That's what I do, and a lot of people think it's cute.
What do you have to lose? You have a lot to gain. Eh, I would've said "Hi, ******. I'm Holly. You seem pretty chill and I'd love to talk more. I noticed you're a fan of ******. I saw them live in 2013 and they rocked!" And that's probably not much better. If they seem extremely introverted you could try a more persuasive approach such as 'let's talk more' rather than appeal to emotion 'I'd love to talk more'. You get nervous 'cos you're HUMAN. Almost every human gets scared, although many refuse to admit it. It surprised me when I learned that most people are frightened behind the facades they show the world. You don't have to apologise for everything. If you insult yourself too much it turns some people off. Have a little faith in yourself. What helps is to think about how scared other people are. Seriously. You're worrying too much about replies. Most people have lives to live and their own idea of reasonable response time. More than a week is pushing it. Ideally you'd suggest meeting for coffee or whatever within 10 messages and/or a month. And trust your instincts. Please.
I know I'm worrying too much...it's not good. Problem is once I get someone talking I'm OK, because basically I know I'm not much to look at but I AM a nice person and I AM (usually) fun! It's just getting past that first bit that scares the crap outta me! I think I'll trust your instincts, mine tell me to hide and pretend I never sent the first one
You talk a lot of sense on here, I enjoy reading your posts, and find myself nodding in agreement usually..just be your usual self, you are brilliant.:eusa_clap
I'm gonna have to agree with everyone else Ellie. You're plenty good with the words and stuffs. If you're half as eloquent and charming with her as you are on this forum, you'll be fine.
Gosh, now I feel bad. Whenever I message someone that I find interesting, I say "Hey, how are you?" So, you're way ahead of me, not only that it takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there in the first place. Just breathe and have fun, if things don't work out, there are plenty of other fish in the sea
