this might be very long but i really need help with my friend?

Honestly, it sounds like you two are growing up and your personalities are developing. She's more interested in the "dark" and "gothic" side of things and you're not as much.

You're an awesome friend for not wanting to judge her, but if you really don't like what she's getting into, or you don't like what she's becoming, then you don't have to be as close of friends with her.
That's part of getting older - losing and gaining friends because people change so rapidly.

I can think of at least three people that I was great friends with in school, and then in middle school when we started forming our own personalities, I stopped hanging out with them due to me not liking what they were becoming.

It seems rude to not like what someone is or what they are becoming, but it's part of every day life.

Again - I'm not suggesting that you have to stop being friends with her, but if you don't like what she's becoming, you don't haveto be as good of friends with her.

Also - I recommend you start using periods in your sentences. They make your text blocks much easier to read.

 

she sounds more "emo" then "goth" to me, I was a goth in high school, and I know from the outside they seem the same, but... Emos are more typical to hurt themselves physically because of their "world", while goths are hurting because of the world... Idk if that makes sense but... I tried.
but no type of friend, regardless of the clique should ridicule another friend... honestly it sounds like she does this to try and use you as a stepping stone to make others think that you're worse then she is.

 

Yeah. Please use periods >< it almost gave me a head ache.

It sounds like pretty standard teenager fare. She sounds like she's too obsessed in her own world. I know people who act/dress like that who were only entirely engrossed into their personal problems. They like to magnify issues or even create problems because... teenage logic (they love drama in life). I think it's quite selfish of her to be so engrossed in her own drama to laugh at your problems (probably because she thinks she has it SO much worst). Problem is that they don't realize that everybody have problems that should be worked out. Idk her situation so she may has it worse or not (I know people who act like that with legit family issues or ones who act like that in a relatively healthy family lol). But eventually they get over it. Trust me, a lot of my friends use to be apart of the whole "emo scene" but they grow out of it and usually end up really nice.

So I guess try to talk to her that you're okay with her having problems in her life and it's okay to be upset. Tell her you're not gonna be nosy in her business (actually do this) and you just want to be respected as a friend. Tell her that you also respect her as a person and does not judge her but only dislikes her mean comments directed toward YOU. Tell her everybody has different issues/interests and if she wants you to respect hers, she must respect yours. Also tell her that everyone has problems that need to be solved/taken seriously regardless of severity/relevance.

Nobody's perfect. She is kinda typical teenage fare but sounds like she just needs to learn to give basic respect to her friends who are different from her. If she cannot do that, then she isn't worth your time until she changes for the better.

Oh and Blood on the Dancefloor is a terrible influence. The main lead is a sex-offense criminal and their songs are all about violence, disrespect, drugs, and other illegal acts. The only thing good about them is that they look good with make up on. Hopefully she grows out of it.

 

Personally, I don't believe I would continue being friends with her.

I wouldn't cut her off or be rude, I just wouldn't hang out with her as much.
When friends start causing me unneeded and unnecessary stress, I usually don't hang out with them as much because it takes a lot of time to maintain those relationships.
I'm not talking about if a friend gets sick and I need to take care of them; I'm talking about if a friend is being rude, isn't considerate of my feelings, is getting themselves into very bad situations, etc.

That's my thinking on the matter, but I'm very conservative with who I hang out with.
Other people, such as you, may be more willing to dedicate the time and energy required to manage the stress created in those friendships, but I would rather focus on my boyfriend, school, work, and the community than just one person. I'm fairly utilitarian.

Anyway - my two cents.

 

Your friend wants you to respect her choices, show interest in the things she is interested in, and support her. She also wants to disrespect your choices, berate you for your interests, and laugh at you when you need support.

I think you need to ask yourself if that really makes her your friend. If you still want to be friends with her then you need to ask yourself why. What is there in this friendship for you? Are you staying friends because you use to have fun and be close? Is it out of guilt? Are you afraid of losing other friends if you drop her? Why are you staying friends with someone who upsets you so much?

It really sounds like you are growing apart and that you might be better to just let it happen. If she were to ask why you are spending less time with her you could tell her that when she laughs at your pain it makes you question why you bother being around her at all.

Hang with other friends more for a while and just see what happens. I imagine you will be less stressed and find life a whole lot more enjoyable without this girl putting you down.

 

I agree. Do this. If she really values you as a friend she'll consult you and ask etc. She may come around it eventually and become more approachable then. Most people would normally just walk away from the friendship you have now. But since I'm a loyal person, I would have that talk I suggested first and try to work it out with her. If she still doesn't respect me, then that's when I would quit or distance myself away from her slowly.