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How do I handle being hit on?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by mertyboy, Mar 15, 2014.

  1. mertyboy

    Regular Member

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    Gender:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Last night, I went out to a nargile cafe with a male friend (also straight) and we ended up getting into a conversation with these two other guys who happened to be really cool.

    Basically, throughout the time I was there, One of the other guys kept giving me signals that he wanted to take me home with him, constantly groping at my body, making comments to me in a sexual nature and even grabbing at my crotch at one point commenting on my "package".

    I didn't get angry because I thought he probably didn't know that I was straight so I started making small talk with one of the waitresses there and showing a lot of interest in her just to get him to back off a little bit or I would look at the T.V and whenever an attractive girl popped up I would say something like "man she's got a nice arse" but he still didn't get it and would be like "bet you my arse is nicer."

    I ended up going outside and having a cigarette and just to get a break from it all but he wanted to come outside too for some fresh air. He then kept pushing me to ditch my mate and go home with him and I said "Look mate, I'm not gay but thanks for the offer" but even that didn't stop him when we went back inside and he kept continuing the behaviour.

    All I want to know is how I can handle this sort of thing if it happens again without resorting to violence or embarrassing the other party.
     
  2. Rosepetal

    Regular Member

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    id suggest standing ur ground when guys hit on me i use my tone nd they get it
     
  3. AKTodd

    Full Member

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    Well, speaking as a gay guy - you were vastly more patient than I would have been (and in principle I'm into guys hitting on me).

    At the very least he should have backed off as soon as you explicitly stated you were not gay. Although that he didn't back off long before then when it was pretty clear you weren't interested makes me think he was either clueless, impaired (aka drunk/high), or an ass.

    In any case, I would suggest being much more upfront next time. Basically, start with the statement you made (I'm not gay, but thanks for the offer), being nice about it and maybe trying to phrase it/present it in a way that you can both laugh it off and move on. Problem solved. If the guy won't take 'no' for an answer but isn't being a jerk, judge the situation and repeat the pleasant, but firm, rejection maybe 2-3 times. If he still won't back off, feel free to embarrass at will/get management involved. I won't go so far as to advocate resorting to violence.

    Hope this helps,

    Todd