1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

How can I stop being so hard on myself?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Beware Of You, Mar 18, 2014.

  1. Beware Of You

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2013
    Messages:
    1,752
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Dublin, Ireland
    I find it incredibly hard to let myself like who I am. I am constantly fighting my own sexuality (I don't think I will ever be happy being gay) and I never think that I am good enough. Even though I am doing alright for a 23 year old (I am on a sponsored PhD studentship and I have 2 degrees already) I think I am failing at life. People say I am good looking and I think I am ugly and I have no idea why people ask me out of what my boyfriend sees in me.

    I can't go on like this, I hurt myself and I am scared that I may not see 25 the way things feel sometimes
     
  2. ZenMusic

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Jul 28, 2013
    Messages:
    1,015
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Middelsbrough, United Kingdom
    Gender:
    Male
    Realise that while you may have your faults, so does everyone. But everyone has something great inside them. Look at yourself : What do you see? There must be something you like about yourself.
     
  3. Incognito10

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2013
    Messages:
    805
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    East Coast, US.
    I can identify, unfortunately.

    Are you in therapy?

    Sorry I have no words of consolation to offer. Again, I feel the same and have for years and do not know a solution. I've tried all meds and am about to get back into counseling.
     
  4. Andrew99

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Well first of all u should really go see a therapist

    Secondly u have nothing to feel ugly about. U have a bf who loves u and u do have a look u just don't think u do. I can see u have high expectations but u have to learn its ok to fail bc that's how we learn. If u spend your whole entire life like this you'll always think of yourself as a failure but in reality your at the top of your game! U have 2 degrees already and your 23 y/o. U should be proud of yourself not bringing yourself down.

    Thirdly I hoped this gave u a bit of enthusiasm bc u seem alright I hope you have a great day :slight_smile: now come here and give me a hug. (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*) (*hug*)
     
  5. CharlieChalk

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2014
    Messages:
    475
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Qatar (Originally England)
    Firstly, nice name and avatar (Paramore FTW :icon_wink).
    Secondly, I'm totally with you on the fighting yourself, not being good enough, being 23 and the whole 25 thing.
    Thirdly, two degrees and a sponsored PhD?! Can I just say WOW! That is incredible! I've got one degree and I had to fight so hard for that, so if you can't see yourself as anything other than failing, let other people who have been in a similar situation and got mediocre results inform you that the truth is you aren't failing at all!
    Other people aren't always wrong :thumbsup:
     
  6. Andrew99

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Nov 13, 2013
    Messages:
    3,402
    Likes Received:
    8
    Location:
    Milwaukee
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Some people
    Beware of You Friend her u guys would be great friends and she looks like she can really help u and make u feel better
     
  7. Kasey

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Dec 21, 2013
    Messages:
    6,385
    Likes Received:
    162
    Location:
    The Commonwealth of Massachusetts
    Gender:
    Female (trans*)
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Confidence is key. Self acceptance is another. I didn't have either when I was in grad school either. I was worried that if I didn't get my doctorate I'd be a failure.

    Then came my "fuck it life goes on" attitude. That changed me for the better.

    It takes a while to get there but you need to find peace within yourself and realize a lot of people would kill to have two degrees. You sound pretty successful to me, and i bet others have told you so but also have told you to be proud of yourself and your accomplishments.

    My college professors said the same thing. It took a while to take to heart but you will find what you are looking for.