My dad is Nigerian, and my Mum told him I was gay, has the audacity to act like the victim in this situation, and long story short, it didn't end well, and my Dad is pretending I'm straight. I might get a boyfriend soon, what would I tell them? I don't think it's fair that I should end a relationship just because he refuses to change his archaic attitudes. But I don't know... Also, my mum thinks she would have been accused of disloyalty if she did not tell him, so is she right in tellling him?
She probably should've asked for your permission first before telling him. But she didn't. And no absolutely not u should stay with your bf bc u need his love and support so no don't break off the relationship.
No your mum shouldn't have told him without your permission, but from what you've shared about your dad he sounds kind of insane anyway so to be fair to her she may have a point. I mean you said he got angry before about stuff, I wouldn't want to find out what kind of angry he got when he found out she was hiding something like that from him, would you? Anyway, if your dad wants to pretend you are straight, let him, that's his problem. Don't let it stop you doing what you need to do. Just...you know...consider not bringing any future boyfriends to 'meet the parents'. If you manage to get a boyfriend...honestly it's up to you. Some people get really upset when they feel they are being hidden so you may have to deal with that if you don't tell them. Honestly if I were you I would worry about yourself. If you get a boyfriend then tell your boyfriend the following: I have no desire to hide you from anyone, however my parents are already pretending I'm not gay. I can tell them about our relationship but please don't expect them to acknowledge it. At least that way your future boyfriend would know that you aren't ashamed or something.
Luckily he didn't find out about this website, I just told him I was on a forum. Even my mum said for a while it could just be a phase, and she has a really black and white view of sexuality, and she uses the " I grew up around gay people" to justify her ignorance. She seemed to be mostly supportive though.
