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Accept or not?

Discussion in 'General Support and Advice' started by Silva, Mar 19, 2014.

  1. Silva

    Regular Member

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    Hey everyone,

    So, recently, I have accepted myself as being genderqueer/genderfluid, and I have told a few close friends about this and with a few of them I can *really* talk about this because they're experiencing the same thing (one of them is FtM trans and the other is also genderfluid).

    But. There's a but. I'd love to "come out" as being genderfluid, at least on my school (which is an awesome, very open school) and maybe later to my parents, but... I'm desperately in love with one of my teachers at school (he's 24 and I'm 17) and if I came out as being who I am at school, my 0,0001% chance with him would drop to absolutely nothing.

    Maybe I have to explain something about my school.
    It's called a "Vrije School" in Dutch, Waldorf Education in English.
    It's one year of school I do between high school and college, because I didn't know what to study while in college.
    It's not traditional school with classes each hour, but on monday and tuesday we have theoretical class, from 9am to 4 pm (for example philosophy, humanism) from one teacher, with a few breaks. And on thursday and friday we have art classes (for examply music, art, writing, theatre). And this teacher I'm in love with, teaches an art class that I attend so I've been seeing him from 9am to 4pm two days a week for the last 10 weeks. Which gave ample opportunity to see him and obsess over him.

    I don't know what to do and I realise this is a cry into the wild for help and I have to decide what to do myself, but I'd really like to know what you guys think.

    Thanks in advance :thumbsup:

    (whoops just realised this should probably go in "coming out" but don't know how to delete threads, sorry!)
     
    #1 Silva, Mar 19, 2014
    Last edited: Mar 19, 2014
  2. Ettina

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    Why would coming out ruin your chances with him?
     
  3. Khan

    Regular Member

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    I do not wish to speak for you, Silva, but I think that Silva thinks it'll ruin their chances with him, because there already is an age difference and that he is straight. So Silva being genderfluid could be unattractive to him, as he probably does not want to date a male.

    Even though being genderfluid is a lot different than being one gender, some people might be disgusted or thrown back by the idea that someone can be both male and female, and would not want to be in a relationship with someone like that, because they either see themselves as straight or gay, which means you are only interested in one sex.

    Though as an advice to you, Silva, being genderfluid does not have to ruin your chance with him at all. Even though I completely understand your worries.